Herman Shops for a New Car

Herman recently bought himself a new Chevy. Herman recalled that back in the old days  Chevys ran forever. However after owning this car Herman realized that his Chevy had a few too many break downs so he decided to give Chevy a nickname:

C-H-E-V-Y = “Cheapest Heap Ever Visualized Yet”

With this in mind Herman was considering buying another car.

Herman still wanted an American made car. Herman steered his Chevy towards the FORD dealer. But after confiding to some old FORD owners they educated Herman to what the word FORD really meant which is: “Found On Repairman’ Doorstep”

Since Herman was at the FORD dealer anyway, he decided to test drive a Ford. After taking a spin the car it stopped and quit halfway down the block.  Looking at this heap sideways made Herman realize that FORD spelled backward is DROF meaning - “Driver Returns On Foot”

So Herman learned about FORDs the hard way. After returning on foot to the Ford Dealer Herman met another Ford owner on the way who cleverly whispered that several of his friends were previous FORD owners and that most = “Ford Owners Recommend Dodge”. So with this recommendation Herman took off to the “Dodge Boys” as they called themselves…

At the Dodge dealer Herman found almost new Dodge automobile.  The Dodge dealer even allowed Herman to bring this car his mechanic to check it out. Herman’s mechanic explained that most Dodge cars looked very nice on the outside. He really liked Dodge cars because they gave him plenty of business. He explained the word DODGE is a code word.  He told Herman  that the word D-O-D-G-E really stands for Doing Overhauls Daily Gets Expensive!

If that was not bad enough the Dodge replacement parts called MOPAR also had a code name spelled out M-O-P-A-R which means Mostly Old Parts And Rust

So Herman decided before dodging the Dodge Boys – no pun intended. He would check out a Jeep which he found from his mechanic JEEP stood for: Just Empty Every Pocket. Herman did not like the sound of that slogan at all.

This time Herman really dodged the Dodge boys and went across the street to the Chrysler Dealer only to find out that CHRYSLER meant Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repairs.

 Herman then thought about buying a foreign car. Before going to the foreign auto market Herman went to a bookstore and looked up the meaning of some of the cars he was interested in buying. This is what he found out:

ACURA: Always Catching Up, Rarely Ahead

BMW: Bring More Wrenches

FIAT: Futile Italian Attempt at Transportation

GEO: Got Everything Overhauled

KIA: Korean Imitation Accord

HONDA: Hang On, Not Done Accelerating

SAAB: Swedish Auto, Assembled Backwards

VOLVO: Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

So after looking up the meaning of all of these cars names Herman decided to test drive the smallest car of the lot which was the VW. He found out VW simply meant= Very Weird

Not happy with the legroom or storage capacity of the VW Herman went back to his Chevy Dealer to trade in his Chevy and he bought a GMC.

When his friend asked Herman why GMC??  Herman happily replied that he found out GMC was the answer to his prayers.  His friend ask him why and Herman replied he found out that the letters GMC really meant:

“God's Mechanical Cure”

and Herman liked that slogan the BEST!.

PS:  Herman's GMC is a SUV! 

Amen