Old Spice is not bath water.

Cut-off t-shirts and hairy armpits
are not a turn-on.

Referring to your wife as
The little Woman or
The Old Lady
is not manly or grownup.

Gel, not Brylcream.

Get your own supper
once in a while and
doing the dishes or dusting
or washing clothes doesn’t
make you a sissy-boy.

Don’t introduce your wife as
my wife, she isn’t yours and
she has a name.

Kiss her before you leave for work
when you get home,
before you go to bed and
now and then for no reason.

Read something that
has a hardback cover
more than once a year,
or hell, once a year.

Telling her to get you a beer
is not social intercourse.

When you don’t know where you are
the first person you ask
probably will.

You’re such weenies
when you are sick.

Most importantly,
learn how to make love,
learn how to have sex,
and of course
learn the difference.