You know how I can tell
my scissors cut very well.
I lost my ring
When I cut off my fing/


The Psychologist
told the Oceanologist
I just can't fathom you.


Edison invented the light bulb
and Eli the cotton gin.
One made night turn to day
The other, shirts that fray.

The paleontologist
told the cosmotologist
Beauty is bonely deep

The green apple tree beckoned I
to bake a tasty green apple pie.
I did, and now I think that I
am pretty sick of green apple pie.

Pie eating Perry won the prize
Eating all the blueberry pies
Perry exploded
After he was loaded
And that's why we have blue skies

My 'how much do you weigh' machine
must be losing sleep.
Either that or he is dumb.
His nines and sixes are upside down
So I'll weight til he gets them right

It rained for a fortnight or two
So I got together my crew
I took two of a kind
Of all them I could find
Except for the one Deja vu.

There was a strongman named Phil
Who said I most certainly will
Pick up that big weight
To show I am great
But Phil now speaks with a shrill

I once heard that old Eskimos
Only make love when it snows
If it wasn't frigid
They wouldn't be rigid
If it's hot they just rub their nose.

There once was a boy and a girl
Who decided to give it a whirl
Toes up and down
They went to town
Now Pearl and Earl have a Merle

The President is feeling quite glum
He has lost his favorite chum
The intern sold out
And said with a pout
The spot on the dress wasn't gum