**THIS IS IN NO WAY MEANT TO OFFEND**

how dew ah luv yew?
let me count th' ways...

(ma)

ah put up wit' yer snores at night,
ah (sometimes) let yew win ar fights,
ah make sure yew git up on time,
ah let yew buy that ol' carbine,
ah wash yer nasty, dirty drawers,
ah let yew spit dere on th' floor,
why, shucks...if ah didn't love yew,
ah woulda shot yew, t'rough an' t'rough

(pa)

ah let yew buy that pretty dress,
ah put up wit' yer moods and stress,
ah put up wit' yer wrinkly skin,
ah put up wit' yer bad cookin',
ah put up wit' yer mean ol' ma,
ah put up wit' yer pointy jaw,
why shucks...if ah didn't love you,
ah would have left yew, flew th' coop

how dew i luv yew?
let me count th' ways...