what time is it GEEZ it's only four a.m.
*grumble* drat double drat and a damn damn DAMN
no i don't want to get up *leave me alone*
*day after thanksgiving sales are overblown*

awwwwwwww man all right all right i am gettin up
can't you let me get some coffee where's my cup
i'm comin what in the world is your hurry
"ever'thing will be gone if we don't scurry"

*grumble grumble* this is crazy this is nuts
no honey i did not say you were a slut
*four in the morning she wants to go shoppin*
*a whole lotta cash i'm gonna be droppin*

look at that line they're like sharks waitin to feed
damn merchants exploitin women for their greed
wild look in their eyes, both merchants and wives
*just hope i get outta this damn thing alive*

didn't know my wife could move so damn fast
up one aisle down the next no sale is passed
the boxes pile up here's another one
*wonder how much i'll have spent when this is done*

OW someone's pushin me GIT OUTTA THE WAY
i would ma'am but i'm kinda trapped what'd you say
git outta YOUR way believe me tryin to
that's when the old bimbo whopped me with her shoe

she screamed "AHHHHHHH that bad man is attackin me"
that's when the crowd went a little bit crazy
that's the last i remember 'cause things went black
it was on the news "man injured in attack"

sharks and women they both kinda act the same
the holiday sales and merchants are to blame
got this black eye and broke foot at the wal mart
i am just glad they didn't rip me apart

(C) karla dorman, 2003