I Swannie this write came from a real event Hope YA'll gets a chuckle outta this.

" HELLO"
" Howdy! who is this?"
" Don't you know, this time of the morning, I. R. PISSED!"
" Beg Yore Pardon, might that be yore name or a state of mind?"
" Listen Smart Ass, if I could reach you, I'd kick your behind!"
" Will I declare!, that be a tad rude!"
" Listen Ya Jerk! Cut the crap, I aint in the mood!"
" Do you know what time it is? What the hour might be?"
" Well holt on a minute Buddy, I'll go see!"
" No! No!, I know what time it is, it's 4!
" Well Hell, ifen Ya knowed the time, what did Ya ask me for?"
" Wayne, is that you?"
" Yeppers, this be Wayne, comin outta the blue!"
" AWWW you aint Wayne! You're makin me flip my wig!"
" I am too Wayne, Wayne Newton, lookin fur my brother fig!"
" Well, that's it! I'm gettin off this line!"
" Well, I'm doin pert fair, how you doin, are Ya fine?"
" CLICK!"
" Well the dad burn nerve of that guy, hangin up on me!"
" I'll jest be callin him back, but first I gotta pee!"