Switching polars from one extreme to bled bending the bough until the breaking is dead hoping that sleep will divulge this lie that life isn't hell and none of us die we might live when the dawns awake when there's nothing to give and everything to take the world is a falsity a nightmare of heartache a show that ends when the curtains break tell me I can feel more than sorrow that there's more than emotion we borrow why'd we chose to live this sordid story where love is pain and pain is glory switching polars from one extreme to bled bending the bough until the breaking is dead.
So who says rhyme has to be precisely metered? Anyone who tries to dot all the i's will only be disappointed. I like the raw feeling of this rhythym. It took me from beginning to end. And back again.
Reviewed by Kevin Mc Crum (Reader)
Reviewed on April 13, 2004
you tackled rhyme and meter fairly well!
However, the sheer brilliance of your message outweighs
any capability of the technical aspect of this piece.
Outstanding work.
I don't need more images because this is a tone poem. And as always, this is top-notch. You need to get published.
Reviewed by ya mama (Reader)
Reviewed on March 16, 2004
some nice rhymes here. it can be very tricky and most fall on their face, but you do okay on this on. also great rhythm. i'd like to see more images though.
Join me as we travel together on the road called "Aging." I will be sharing my personal experiences with you and offer ideas on how we can better navigate the complex byways of our older years. Grief, healing, generations, ancestors, and more.
For a time, I perched myself on a flat rock, comparing my life with the Guyandotte River. Just as its tributaries replenish it daily, changing it in some small—sometimes great—degree, so have the day-to-day occurrences of life changed me. Like the ri
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However, the sheer brilliance of your message outweighs
any capability of the technical aspect of this piece.
Outstanding work.
Allen