You think that I love the abuse so much
that I pin it on you undeserved
because I was hurt as a child
I'm blaming you for what you never did
because I'm so untrusting of men
I'm not ever giving you the chance
because I was verbally slaughtered
in place of bedtime stories
then I'm unfairly judging you.

Your yells aren't the same
your screams are so different
your insults are so much better
your mind games are so innocent
how dare I compare you to my father
I'm lucky to have you aren't I
I don't deserve you do I
and if I don't agree I can find someone better
just try to find someone better
what makes me think I deserve better
what makes me so perfect anyway
I asked for this
I deserve this
I provoke this
it is my own shortcomings
that make you this way

and maybe it's true .

you drink because you don't know what else to do
you yell because the drink has your head screaming
you admit to all your problems and sometimes regret them
for as long as it takes to shut me up.

So this is all I have to say to you anymore.
You win.

I don't have it in me to fight you.
Not when an average conversation with you
has me walking away feeling like a battered woman.

You win.
I don't deserve better.
This is all my fault.
I'm lucky to have you.
My shortcomings overshadow yours
a thousand times.
You are like your father
because I am like mine.
I won't fight you anymore.
I won't talk back anymore.
I won't oppose you again.






You win.