My life fans and spreads outward
your absence creating an old woman of me
what was once contained tightly
becomes loose and amorphous
careless and gelatenous
leaking into other channels
to embarrass those around me
with the evidence of my decline
I burned your letter in the fireplace
so that I could inhale you into my lungs
rich, acrid, stinging pain
that brought tears to my eyes
and now I recreate that ritual daily
just pause at random moments
to suck you deeply into me
so that I can feel the betrayal
in short, manageable bursts
this is the most defining moment
the most life-altering hurt
that I've ever been thrown into
and no one else can know about it
so on the outside I harden more
with each day I press through
while internally I'm dissolving
always wondering when my contents
will break through this brittle shell
and leave me and my heartache exposed
even with all the world gazing at me
and the curious disaster I've become
you will still be the one living person
who fails to see what you've done.