On doing so it's as Nicola, Emma and Zoe they greet

Their men decide to gather in a similar place

greeting each other as Fats, Godzilla and Ratface

Both sets share a meal, each with a bill of 42.10

So how should this princely sum be divided then?

The girls, they work it out to the exact fraction

Whilst the lads? 20 each then off for some action

When out shopping our men so readily tire

Offering double for something they desire

The women have an entirely different call

Paying half for what they don't want at all

Back home our men's bathroom is bare in the main

Toothbrush, razor and some soap, all quite plain

Oh yes! and a towel borrowed from some hotel chain

Clean and beard free is all he intends to gain

The women's has bottles and tubes by the score

Not even a tiny space is left to put one more

Half of which even she doesn't know what they're for

Products to cleanse each and every conceivable pore

The women worried so, when thoughts of being alone

Lifted only when they landed their man and home

Of worries and pressures our single guys had none

They arrived only when their freedom had gone

Success in our men is judged by their earned wealth

Only more than the women can spend will save their health

Of their God, for such a man, all women will ask

To outspend his income seems their feminine task

A man's good looks, his woman soon begins to hate

As her own appearance rapidly starts to disintegrate

Having to spend more and more time with her makeup bag

Just to prevent her looking like some evil old hag.

It is alright for him to say that it doesn't matter

He doesn't have to meet her friends for a natter

Whilst they study each other for every new line

Knowing well that aging is the ultimate crime

She looks closely at him each morn and has to weep

He looks as good as he did before he went to sleep

She knows without doubt that her God is a man

No woman would ever allow that as part of her great plan!