This poem isn't fiction, its still very real for me. I'm not in this situation now, thank God. But the pain lives on...
Who do you think you are
Still messing up my mind
Why this power over me
After all this time
Lying in bed at nite
I hear you in my dreams
Still trying to hurt me
Smothering my screams
Who do you think you are
Consuming my life
It's been many years now
Since I was your wife
Why do the words you said
Still keep hanging on
The scars on my heart
Shouldn't they be gone
Who do you think you are
Clouding my memory
Why can't you leave me alone
Just let me be
The cursing still haunts me
Walking on eggshells every day
The put downs and beatings
How I want you to pay
Who do you think you are
With your superior air
You act like you are God
Without a single care
For years I have suffered
From your abuse
Don't you think it's time
That you turned me loose
Who do you think you are
Invading my space
Let me tell you this
I don't want to see your face
You live in the shadows
Where you still call my name
You haunt my very being
Your words always the same
Who do you think you are
Walking around free
While I'm still paying
For the pain you caused me
I was afraid to breathe
Scared of your rage
Crying and alone
In my own private cage
I've been there too Linda. Many a time I looked at a fist and thought it was going to be lights out for me and all over nothing except that he was a control freak. Emotional and verbal abuse and living in fear are hell. I'm so glad we both got out.
My heart ached as I read this poem. My nerves in my front teeth got that sensitive feeling...This ought to be required reading for those who have abused- but also for the many who have suffered too.
My prayers go out for both~ Oh, how we need Jesus
Reviewed by Roger Richard (Reader)
Reviewed on February 2, 2009
Hi LInda Mae, beautiful write. No one should ever have to live like that, especially someone like you.
I know from experience that abuse sticks with you. I'm glad you're out of this situation. With me, it was my mother. When they're supposed to love you, it hurts that much more. Love and Hugs,
Sheila
It is so true that some bad memories stay with us for a long time. We voluntarily allow them to surface to haunt us. The best is to seek professional help; or just simply ignore the pain when it surface. Eventually the pains will go away when we ignore them.
A very thoughtful write; and very insightful indeed!!!
You are a survivor and better off without that person in your life. Only heartache can come of it and you were right to get out of that relationship. Hard to think there are many men still out there that are that way and destroy lives of others without any care.
Linda, I feel and share your pain! The cut is deep and the pain is intense. My spouse left me after 25 years of marriage because I chose to follow the Lord. She lead me to believe that she wanted the same thing all those years! I don't ache anymore because God took the pain away and it is a new day! God wants us to show other how to be delivered from the wickedness inflicted on us by others! Now you have that power! Soldier who haven't been in the trenches are useless warriors! I dedicate my latest poem to you and thanks for the trip down memory lane. May peace never cease!!!
Abuse in all it's ugly faces still haunts the hearts and souls of so many, I am sorry that you are one of those but happy that you were a survivor and are able to rise above it to become the loving person you are today.
Oh Linda this one touches home for a good many dear, once you have lived this fear it is with you forever. We may sit it in the back of our minds and let another protect us through life. Thank you for sharing, take care.
I am glad that you are not in that situation.This was a very deep and emotional poem that you have written very well and with strong conviction.take care of yourself
Linda:
I am glad you are out of the situation now, I am sorry you ever had to face it, keep writing and be blessed
In Christs Love
Michelle~
Reviewed by Elizabeth Hobbs (Reader)
Reviewed on January 12, 2009
Hi Linda
You'll probably never forget, but take solace in your writing and enjoy the finer things of life - nature, music, food. Look to the future. Liz
WOW, what can I say, except it made me tear up. I could feel your pain in every word that was written from your heavy heart. I am so glad that you are NOT in that situation any more. Just remember that better days always lie ahead, and you always have your AD friends by your side.
I've asked that same question, "Who do you think you are?",
quite a few times to people who over step their boundaries.
I can tell that in your case, it was very severe but i'm very
glad that you're not in that situation anymore. Keep writing!
I'm sure you know that it is a very good way to relieve pain
and to put your feelings into perspective.
Linda,
We all are haunted by painful memories of unwanted relationships/marriages. We as women have the power to walk away and be proud of our choices. I believe that you are almost healed, and sometimes these little set backs are just reminders of the way it used to be and they make you very grateful for the way it is right now. Live in the moment, your present to you!
The verse that really struck me was this one:
"While I'm still paying
For the pain you caused me
I was afraid to breathe
Scared of your rage
Crying and alone
In my own private cage"
That is the past, you have given yourself the gift of the present moment, embrace your beautiful soul and choice..
Much peace, love, and light to you dear friend,
Amber "V"
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My prayers go out for both~ Oh, how we need Jesus
Sheila
I hope this helps someone.
Great poem of true anguish and pain, thanks for the caveat and reminding me of where I don't ever want to go again!
Rockie Coppolella
It is so true that some bad memories stay with us for a long time. We voluntarily allow them to surface to haunt us. The best is to seek professional help; or just simply ignore the pain when it surface. Eventually the pains will go away when we ignore them.
A very thoughtful write; and very insightful indeed!!!
Sandie Angel :o)
Mary
Be always safe,
Karen
Wow - a very deep and heart wrenching write . . . it moves one to tears for what you've been through . . . so sorry for this pain.
Hugs and blessings,
Lance
hugs
fee
Newfie hugs, Rose
(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :(
Edwin
I am glad you are out of the situation now, I am sorry you ever had to face it, keep writing and be blessed
In Christs Love
Michelle~
You'll probably never forget, but take solace in your writing and enjoy the finer things of life - nature, music, food. Look to the future. Liz
VERY emotional write...........I am here for you.
quite a few times to people who over step their boundaries.
I can tell that in your case, it was very severe but i'm very
glad that you're not in that situation anymore. Keep writing!
I'm sure you know that it is a very good way to relieve pain
and to put your feelings into perspective.
We all are haunted by painful memories of unwanted relationships/marriages. We as women have the power to walk away and be proud of our choices. I believe that you are almost healed, and sometimes these little set backs are just reminders of the way it used to be and they make you very grateful for the way it is right now. Live in the moment, your present to you!
The verse that really struck me was this one:
"While I'm still paying
For the pain you caused me
I was afraid to breathe
Scared of your rage
Crying and alone
In my own private cage"
That is the past, you have given yourself the gift of the present moment, embrace your beautiful soul and choice..
Much peace, love, and light to you dear friend,
Amber "V"
Thank God you're not in that situation now. But the pain still lingers, as evidenced in these lines of heartbreak. Very well penned.
(((HUGS))) love and prayer, Karla.