Fell out of bed - right out a 2 story window

Landed on my head - I was disoriented

Found a fishbone - combed my hair.

Regained my senses - went back to my room

Shaved with a rusty razor - got lockjaw

Not to mention several cuts - ran out of toilet paper

Jumped into the shower - no hot water.

Was running behind - job interview

Put on my wool suit - but first killed all the moths

Slipped on my loafers - got bitten by a spider

Ran out the door - my car had been stolen.

Jogged to catch a bus - was mugged and assaulted

A pick up truck drove by - splashed mud all over me

Went to cross the street - jaywalked and got a ticket

Made it to the interview - someone else got hired.

Then I really lost it - got naked

A siren sounded - here's come the padded wagon

I put up a struggle - fought tooth and nail

Slipped on a straitjacket - now in a room without a view.

'2008' RLS