Lived on a farm - a humble abode

Was being raised by her Uncle

Henry and Antietam, I mean Auntie

Em; owned a pooch named Toto.

Along came a spinster quite bitch

Wanted to impound the liitle dog

Puts it in her a tisket-a-tasket, a

green and yellow basket.

But Toto was pretty damn smart

Escapes and runs to the farm

Dorothy, afraid of the fuzz, takes

Toto and makes like splitsville.

Meets up with a two-bit carny

hypnotist - who would later

change his threads and become

the Great OZ.

Professor Marvel gives her a

look-see in the glass ball; an

image of her dear old aunt

Shows her turning on the tears.

Pulls at Dorothy's heart strings

She and Toto head back home

In other words they beat feet

Then along comes a big blow.

When they arrive, everyone had

gone gopher in the storm cellar

Dorothy and Toto head for the

farm house - do an Old Yeller.

The tornado grabs the house

by the seat of its pants and

throws it into outer space - this

is when Dorothy starts trippin'.

Sees the bitch turn into a witch

The house kills her co-worker as

it lands safely in Munchkinland

Dorothy is now the BWC.

Good Witch Glinda gives her the

Ruby Slippers; Dorothy gets the

key to the miniature city; all is

cool until the ugly witch shows up.

"I'll get you my pretty" is uttered

The Kansas Girl tells her to piss

off - take a hike; she and Toto

hit the yellow bricks.

Dorothy gets in the groove with a

corn field Scarecrow, a Man of Tin

and the King of Beasts - make a

bee-line for the Emerald City.

Sign out front reads, "Nobody Gets

In To See The Wiz, Not Nobody, Not

No How!" The Four Musketeers say,

"Yeah right" - kick the door in.

After seeing all the bells and whistles

Toto pulls the curtain - the Great OZ

gets the third degree; "Okay, what'a

we need to get outta this place?"

He answers, " You gotta get down and dirty

with the witch - throw H2O on her skin

watch her lose weight and disappear;"

"And bring me her ride - it's called a broomstick."

"Is that it?" "We could've done that in our

poppy-sleep; oh snap!" Within the hour

the four returned with the witch's broom -

all wearing monkey suits.

The Man of Tin gets his brain; the corn

field Scarecrow his heart; the King of

Beasts - courage; Dorothy clicks her

heels and it's back on the farm - big whoop!

'2008' RLS