Painting by William-Adolphe Bouguereau (1825-1905) – Flora And Zephyr (1875)
Breezy
You have the strength
Of a gale
The energy
Of a typhoon
Within yourself
But you don't need
To show off
You never do
But me
You tease
Like a breeze
You twirl my heart
Like a whirlwind
Swirl my soul
Like ice cubes
In your drink
I melt
In your warmth
Evaporate
Mingle
With the sweet scent
Of woman
Lost in you
A zephyr
With a smile
Regis!! I LOVE LOVE LOVE This
you know I have always loved this side of you though
your romantic heart
& your passion to woman & love are so beautiful
You are the Fragrant Perfume on This Zephyrs Breeze
"Breezy" caresses our hearts
Love & Windy Days
Vickie
I hope you don't melt until you are completely bleded with the drink, because this would be terrible loss. Hee! Hee! Seriously, I really like the passion in this.
Regis, your zephyr left this aging gent with a smile that will last him a while. Your poem blew in gently and captured my imagination with its gentle message as "Breezy" beguiled. Love and peace to you my dear friend. Jon Michael
Content-wise this is a great poem. I love the imagery and the metaphors/similes you use.
I'd be tempted to add punctuation to this poem. Also when I read the poem pausing at the end of each line it doesn't seem to flow as well for me. How did you intend this poem to be read?
I'd put the line "within yourself" as the first line of the poem. That makes the flow better and I think that draws the reading in. I'd also combine the lines "but me" & "you tease" into one line to say "you tease me". This makes the poem flow better too. Also to keep with the format of the lines "Mingle" & "With the sweet scent" I'd rearrange the four lines above it so the six lines now say:
I melt
In your drink
Evaporate
In your warmth
Mingle
With the sweet scent
Of course these are just suggestions. As the author you do as you wish. Hope I've been helpful.
May the Lord Bless you, and those whom you love, and be with you always, and walk by your side. With love in my heart, joy to the world, peace on earth, & ((((((((((MANY WONDERFUL SISTERLY HUGGGGSSSS)))))))))), your little sister Barbie.
Regis,
You were one of the first writers to find me on AD, and I've been reading your poetry ever since. Hooked, I am. I can't help but notice a common theme in many of your romantic pieces, such as this one. (As I know your poems come from the heart, unlike mine which are fiction.) The person you admire or desire in your poetry seems always to be out of reach, and you tend to see yourself as unworthy? Seems like it. Hope I do not offend. I just really enjoy reading your poetry. I'd love to see you write a poem, also from the heart, where the object of your affection is the one unworthy:) Because you are talented, and you're a great guy. You have plenty to offer. I love the visuals in this poem. Keep them coming! Love and Hugs,
Sheila
Reviewed by Vesna Perkovic (Reader)
Reviewed on October 4, 2010
mmmmmm..just beautiful Regis..
I truly enjoyed this piece...
Thankyou..
I remember and still have poems my husband used to write to me when we were young--now he writes me grocery lists LOL. Thanks for keeping romance alive!!
The power of the magnetism of a woman!! Lost in her spell and forever falling into her her beauty*
The picture by the way was very thoughtful...It echos your words like magick!!
Just Enchanting/*
Well you are definitely not speaking of me, I am no good till I have me coffee in the morning anyway...oh I missed the woman part so it is not about me, now I am rejected...I'm gonna hold my breath, you'll be sorry when I'm gone...LOL, Ed
Like listening to an old-time radio program with a little static, but the gist is for real and the for real is genuine. Like how you strung the words together creating a "breeze" of its own.
The opening words, "You have the strength of a gale..." give us insight into the rest of the poem. Sensuality and strength and full of emotion. This is great poetry Regis!
Inspirational poetry, written from the heart and soul. Verses that are well-suited for reading on a rainy day and that are guaranteed to bring a smile to your face.
Inspirational poetry, written from the heart and soul. Verses that are well-suited for reading on a rainy day and that are guaranteed to bring a smile to your face.
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Happy new year!
-=ra=-
Just wondering- do you have a book with all of your poems? They are beautiful!
--Liz
JOYCE * HIS INSPIRATIONS.
hug
Kathi
you know I have always loved this side of you though
your romantic heart
& your passion to woman & love are so beautiful
You are the Fragrant Perfume on This Zephyrs Breeze
"Breezy" caresses our hearts
Love & Windy Days
Vickie
Newfie Hugs, Rose
it was a treat to read
Peace be with you
William
But from eons of being trained how to tame...........
Peace & Blessings,
Carolyn
Continued success~
Barbara Henry
I'd be tempted to add punctuation to this poem. Also when I read the poem pausing at the end of each line it doesn't seem to flow as well for me. How did you intend this poem to be read?
I'd put the line "within yourself" as the first line of the poem. That makes the flow better and I think that draws the reading in. I'd also combine the lines "but me" & "you tease" into one line to say "you tease me". This makes the poem flow better too. Also to keep with the format of the lines "Mingle" & "With the sweet scent" I'd rearrange the four lines above it so the six lines now say:
I melt
In your drink
Evaporate
In your warmth
Mingle
With the sweet scent
Of course these are just suggestions. As the author you do as you wish. Hope I've been helpful.
Lena
May the Lord Bless you, and those whom you love, and be with you always, and walk by your side. With love in my heart, joy to the world, peace on earth, & ((((((((((MANY WONDERFUL SISTERLY HUGGGGSSSS)))))))))), your little sister Barbie.
Axilea
You were one of the first writers to find me on AD, and I've been reading your poetry ever since. Hooked, I am. I can't help but notice a common theme in many of your romantic pieces, such as this one. (As I know your poems come from the heart, unlike mine which are fiction.) The person you admire or desire in your poetry seems always to be out of reach, and you tend to see yourself as unworthy? Seems like it. Hope I do not offend. I just really enjoy reading your poetry. I'd love to see you write a poem, also from the heart, where the object of your affection is the one unworthy:) Because you are talented, and you're a great guy. You have plenty to offer. I love the visuals in this poem. Keep them coming! Love and Hugs,
Sheila
I truly enjoyed this piece...
Thankyou..
vesna :)
Daniel
Best regards
David
Anna
been around lately. My misfortune. -gene.
Carole~
Ron
Love this painting too, so surreal like the feelings "YOU" expressed!
Passionate_SHEEooox
Susan
I remember and still have poems my husband used to write to me when we were young--now he writes me grocery lists LOL. Thanks for keeping romance alive!!
Micki
Take care,
Sherry
The picture by the way was very thoughtful...It echos your words like magick!!
Just Enchanting/*
Your friend,
Michelle Schaeffer
Very sensual poem.
Mary
GOD BLESS YOU
TONY
You really shined through this one.
Beautiful.
God bless,
Lew
Peace,
Dayvid
Love,
Sage
Blessings,
Christine