.

Going to a New Years Eve Party
With my friend anal Artie
Got get him otta his stupid house
cause he just sits there like a louse

I begged and pleaded for him to come
Had to promise him a bottle of rum
Said its time to meet someone new
But this he just refused to do

Tried to tell him life is short
But all I got is a bitter retort
Why should I meet someone new
When my hearts already black and blue

I kinda knew what he meant
So I decided to relent
I too have a long lost flame
That helped me rise to Gumby fame

She affected my emotional states
And even though it’s me she hates
My heart for her never dissipates
Guess I’m in some desperate straits

Maybe sometime in the distant future
Her tear of feelings will get a suture
But for now I have to face facts
And get Artie to hit the tracks

He just doesn’t want to go out
He’d rather wear the eternal pout
And sit and watch Dick’s ball drop
Which to me is kind of a flop

So to all of you going out this New Years Eve
Just think of me with this worthless peeve