Slaney O’ Toole
was no ordinary fool
Though some people call him a freak
He holds a degree
In Divine Mystery
And another for thinking in Greek
Give Slaney a feather
he’ll forecast weather
Throughout the whole of next week
And predict the future
Whilst riding a scooter
To Everest’s highest peak
He makes Nostradamus
Look silly and harmless
And Newton seem amateurish
He’s discussed vintage wine
With Albert Einstein
And told Dali the price of fresh fish.
One day when out walking
Slaney came across Hawking
Considering when time might start and stop
“That’s easy” said Slaney,
“The answer quite plainly
Depends when you wind up your clock.
Clearly no dope
He once told the Pope
To buy a more practical hat
And with panache and flair
Convinced Tony Blair
One can never put trust in a cat.
Without asking a price
He has offered advice
To Princes and President’s too
If you give him your ear
He will guide your career
Or tell you a cure for the flu.
Though drunk as a rule
Slaney O’Toole
Is always good natured and charming.
He will befriend you
For a plate of hot stew
Though his halitosis can be alarming.
From morning ‘til night
With unsteady gait
Slaney wanders the streets of our town
Talking in his head
With the great and the good;
A philosopher, poet and clown.