this is one of those weird tales
of an alien species called females
their looks are quite similar to ours
but they have over us strange powers
I'm sure they control my very mind
compelling me to act abnormally kind
for just a smile when we might meet
I could find myself giving up my seat
or spending time on my remaining hair
yet normally I really just don't care
when they look at us all open-eyed
from us our willpower they've pried
hooked on every little word they say
acting only how they say we may
physically we tend to be their betters
yet it's us that seem kept in fetters
forever keeping their victims waiting
using their soft bodies for baiting
until their prey is nicely hooked
and a big expensive wedding booked
then other differences slowly appear
as our gaze becomes increasing clear
desires that only we used to fulfil
find chocolate better suits the bill
these previously hidden sweet tastes
produce some ever increasing waists
before they slept as they were born
relying on us to keep them warm
now it's flannel from head to toe
with visiting rights strictly a no go
so as not to cry, we find we must laugh
for we knew this to be a predestined path
all our friends had warned us of this
the difference between a Mrs and a Miss