Up on the house top I did go

To hang the lights up for their glow

Lit up the chimney and the eaves

Then coming down slipped on some leaves

Ho Ho Ho wouldn't you know

Ho Ho Ho face full of snow

Oh, off of the rooftop click click click

Shrubs up my ass like a pungi stick

Yelled at the kids to call 911

But they were having too much fun

My left leg was wrapped around my head

By all accounts I should be dead

Ho Ho Ho I have to go

Ho Ho Ho I broke my toe

Oh, where is their sense of urgency

I need to get to emergency

Screamed at the wife to get some help

But what came out was a muffled yelp

My face was buried deep in slush

Voice didn’t carry and sounds like mush

Ho Ho Ho this really blows

Ho Ho Ho I broke my nose

Oh, now for some mercy I must beg

Just as soon as I locate my right leg

I hear the siren’s approaching whine

Holiday statistic bottom line

Can’t say they didn’t tell me so

Don’t climb your roof that’s deep in snow

Ho Ho Ho gravity wins

Ho Ho Ho  cast on both shins

Oh, take my advice and hire it done

Christmas in traction ain’t no fun

Copyright 2009  Patrick A. Granfors