Bad Dog Bad Dog - No Biscuit (poem) by Patrick A Granfors on AuthorsDen

Bad Dog Bad Dog - No Biscuit
by Patrick A Granfors → (All Poetry by Patrick A Granfors)
Rated "G" by the Author.

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This true story posted by CBS News yesterday from Los Banos, California, is for Jasmin and Mr. Ed who I’m sure will appreciate. A duck hunter who, had set his shotgun on the ground with its safety in the “on” position walked forward about 15 yards to retrieve some decoys was shot with his own gun. His black female retriever had stepped on the weapon and simultaneously disengaged the safety and pulled the trigger, causing the gun to fire, striking the hunter in the upper back with #2 shot. The injuries were said to be not life threatening. This sort of puts a whole new perspective on the philosophy that, “There are no accidents.” Photo:dogsand puppies.co.uk

Good morning Mr. Master Please, a bit more to the right This one’s for awakening me In the middle of the night To come out here and splash about In the wet brush and the cold This playing with the wooden ducks Has gotten rather old Remember when you tricked me With that little piece of bone Then threw me on the back porch So I had to be alone Do you recall you scolded me For stealing from the table Now I’ve noticed cheap dog food Cause I can read the label Don’t forget the time you stopped me Getting humped by that poodle Not once have I interfered with you When mistress messes with your noodle If you think I don’t need treats You sadly are mistaken I’m glad you’re so oblivious As I sneak your morning bacon You promised we would take a walk After each obedience class But my walk ends up in my back yard While you sit on your a** My aim might have been better If it hadn’t been so rainy That and if my gun instructor Hadn’t been Dick Cheney Affectionately, Yer Dog Copyright 2010 Patrick A. Granfors

Reviewed by Ed Matlack

Reviewed on February 9, 2010

Too cute & funny, love that last stanza...Ed

Reviewed by L. Figgins

Reviewed on February 7, 2010

You nut! Darn it, that karma stuff's a B****, ain't it?

Lin

Reviewed by Gerald Tate

Reviewed on February 6, 2010

Great stuff, which I really enjoyed. Did the dog get arrested for attempted murder???

Gerry

Reviewed by Regis Auffray

Reviewed on February 3, 2010

Delightfully humorous stuff, Patrick. Thanks for the smiles. Love and peace to you,

Regis

Reviewed by Eileen Granfors

It's a good thing you don't go hunting with Pistol Pete. Nilla would be more reliable. Good one. You even got a LAUGH out of me! e

Reviewed by Sheila Roy

LOL:) A witty response to the dog story. I read this to my hubby, too.
Sheila

Reviewed by Annabel Sheila

Hahaha! Hilarious write, Patrick...poor doggie....

Anna

Reviewed by Mr. Ed

I love your last stanza!! Dogs truly are much smarter than many pompous humans care to believe!

And I am honored to be mentioned here, alongside A.D.'s Bird Whisperer, Jasmin. Thanks a bunch, my friend.

Reviewed by Liana Margiva

I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!! Liana Margiva

Reviewed by Georg Mateos

Hilarious! and as a dog man, I know they can smile devilishly when putting one over somebody owing them some! Jasmin and PeeWee will be laughing their underwears wet!!! (LOL)
Patrick, what a good sport you are!

Georg

Reviewed by E T Waldron

Reviewed on February 2, 2010

Patrick,this fantastic poemtakes top bone!
I love your sense of humor Sorry for the poor
guy who must bear the back oain.He should
read this,send him a copy!;-)

Reviewed by Elizabeth Price

You are too much. I laughed the whole way through and hid this jewel from my dogs. Love it. Liz

Reviewed by Carin Spirit

Good Dog Good dog!! No more hunting for this season anyway. This is just too funny. Thank you for sharing.

Reviewed by JASMIN HORST SEILER

OH man, you're firing from all cannons, Dick Cheney, well, who better than to teach someone to ..... Much amusement dear friend, by the way, I was sure mine could read the labels too, usually I ended up playing french chef. Thanks for the laugh, Jasmin Horst

Reviewed by Peter Schlosser (Reader)

ROFL. Great stuff.

Reviewed by Linda Hill

Patrick,
Enjoyed this!

Blessings+
~Linda

Reviewed by Paul Berube

Great humorous write, Patrick.

Reviewed by D Johnson

Patrick, this is really funny, enjoyed it very much.

Cheers,
Dan