Peg Leg Flambe' (poem) by Patrick A Granfors on AuthorsDen

Peg Leg Flambe'
by Patrick A Granfors → (All Poetry by Patrick A Granfors)
Rated "G" by the Author.

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In continuation of the “You just can’t make this stuff up series” I offer the following: AP Dateline - Las Cruces, New Mexico – July 5th “New Mexico man set on fire after losing bet” A 47 year old man was drinking with his friends when they all made a bet that whoever drank the least would be set on fire. The man, who had a prosthetic leg came up short drinking only six beers. He told investigators that he agreed that his friends should in fact set him on fire, so they ignited his peg leg which then spread to his ass and lower back. Sheriff’s Deputies found him naked by the side of the road, his peg leg aflame, proving once again, you can’t fix stupid. To the tune of “Rawhide” Photo:FunkyspaceMonkey.com

Six pack six pack six pack Flames roll up his butt crack A bet he cannot retract Rawhide Don’t try to understand em’ Stupidity is Random But now and then it refuses to hide Their sentence is computin’ There is no refutin’ A reincarnate Rasputin’ Rawhide Cuff ’em up Pack ‘em in Load ‘em out Lock ‘em up Ride ‘em in Rawhide Rollin’ Rollin’ Rollin’ Tho their heads are swollen At least their car’s not stolen Rawhide The sheriff’s never seen such misfits Can’t believe they were such dumb shits The Judge will have his gavel by his side Some ointment and some band aids Sleeping arrangement downgrades Are waiting at the end of their ride Cuff ’em up Pack ‘em in Load ‘em out Lock ‘em up Ride ‘em in Rawhide Copyright 2010 Patrick Granfors

Reviewed by Ronald Hull

Reviewed on July 17, 2010

Captured the moment better than the AP.

Ron

Reviewed by Lori Moore

Reviewed on July 16, 2010

People this stupid deserve to burn.

Reviewed by E T Waldron

Reviewed on July 12, 2010

Patrick,you have a gift! If true, this story has to be one of the most ridiculous I've heard!

Reviewed by pat medlin

i awoke to a monday morning badly in need of a chuckle and....WAL AH...there you are patrick...this rivals your interstate observations.

BTW...i'm missin' georg seriously...i can't be the only one...pat

Reviewed by Mr. Ed

proving once again, you can’t fix stupid.

How so very true, but I did like Rawhide!

Reviewed by Peter Schlosser (Reader)

Reviewed on July 11, 2010

This happens every day in Vegas!

Reviewed by Sage Sweetwater

Oh, just so timely! Stupidity lassos in the Dirty Dozen, Patrick...they can't possibly win when sulfur is involved. When will they ever learn? I wonder if they recruit these fools on the Internet.

Love,
Sage

Reviewed by Ed Matlack

Yes, take it from an expert, stupidity is sometimes painful, but sometimes it is so as well wonderful...gets you out of such interesting situations...Pee-wee & Edvard can attest to the stupidity of their younger brother...lol, Ed

Reviewed by William Bonilla

an amusing piece
stupid id stupid does
Peace be with you

William

Reviewed by Mark Lichterman

Once again, Patrick, I wonder of your imagination and the strength of your vocabulary, to say nothing of your memory (Rawhide? from the fifties.)Very funny, though very scary poem because these idiots not only reproduce, but they also vote.
Your friend, Mark

Reviewed by JASMIN HORST SEILER

Not the least bit funny, this is what's also running the country, they might be in Penquin suits and drink whisky sour, but,,,,,in any case cowboys all. Jasmin Horst

Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado

Patrick, stop!! You're killin' me!!!! LOL Too funny; enjoyed! Thanks for the smiles!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. ;D

Reviewed by Jms Bell

PATRICK...I JUST CANNOT BELIEVE THIS! I MEAN...REALLY!? POOR GUY. HE PROBABLY NEVER THOUGHT HIS 'FRIENDS' WOULD REALLY DO IT. WITH FRIENDS LIKE THEM...WHO NEEDS ENEMIES???!!! THANKS FOR THE SHARE AND GOD BLESS, LOVE, JOYCE * HIS INSPIRATIONS

Reviewed by Paul Berube

Funny one, Patrick. Nope, you can't fix stupid.

Reviewed by Christine Tsen

This is bountiful, Patrick !
Hilarious and catchy, fertile ~

I'm just so grateful that you keep me up on the news!
Namaste,
Christine