Blunder Down Under (poem) by Patrick A Granfors on AuthorsDen

Blunder Down Under
by Patrick A Granfors → (All Poetry by Patrick A Granfors)
Rated "G" by the Author.

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This is just getting too easy; yet another incident of the inmates escaping the brain trust. This one was reported yesterday in Broome, Australia proving that even the Aussies are not immune to rampant stupidity. A local man was tossed out of a Tavern for being drunk and promptly broke into the local Zoo. He climbed into a cage containing a 16 foot crocodile to pet it. The croc named �Fatso� obliged by taking a chunk out of the man�s leg but then released him, which is highly unusual crocodile behavior. The man then managed to climb out of the cage to seek medical attention To the Tom Jones Tune...Release Me

Oh please release let me go My mental processes are slow To keep my leg would be a sin Release me and let me walk again I had a bit too much to drink Now your teeth into me sink Please for this is our first date Release me I taste like marinate I know you thought I was snack So I’ll forgive this whole attack I’ll tell the zoo keep you’re OK Just release me so I can get away I never claimed I was too bright To try and pet a croc at night I know your motives are not cruel Release me even though I’ve been a fool Copyright 2010 Patrick Granfors

Reviewed by Ronald Hull

Reviewed on July 17, 2010

From Tom Jones, the movie. "Here puss, puss, pussey... no, gator, no!"

Ron

Reviewed by Lori Moore

Reviewed on July 15, 2010

Now I need to get the oldies station out of my mind. Very nice!

Reviewed by Kate Burnside

BRILLIANT!!! Tom Jones has been upstaged and Davy Jones thwarted of another dead man's bones... I guess even Fatso the Croc can get picky sometimes...!! :)) xx

Reviewed by Mark Lichterman

Very good writing, my friend. And this guy probably has children and votes in Australia.
Mark

Reviewed by Paul Berube

Good one, Patrick.

Reviewed by Mr. Ed

I never claimed I was too bright,
To try and pet a croc at night

The mind boggles at the things we humans do when alcohol takes hold of our brains. Old Fatso really gave this guy a break.

Reviewed by JASMIN HORST SEILER

Reviewed on July 14, 2010

He was drinking Coors I bet, God not even a croc would want to taste that, I know now that if Georg gets better and thinks of going down under, well, what am I saying, he probably is, Swedish Nurses and all, you know what I mean Patrick, darn this heat man, it has an impact, I am glad there ain't any crocs here, just the wife, ha.

Reviewed by Ed Matlack

"Release me I taste like marinate"

Perfect line & write...e

Reviewed by Peter Schlosser (Reader)

The original Road Warrior.

Reviewed by Sage Sweetwater

Virtual reality lesson in biting off more than you can chew, greedy gluttonous overindulging neo-cheaters. Blunder Down Under results in making great strides in whistleblowing the harmonica in the key of Waltzing Matilda shrimp on the barbie...let that peg leg flambe burn! We'll have a vegemite sandwich without the croc...Men at Work Land Down Under..."And he said, I come from a land down under. Where beer does flow and men chunder"...a template of retribution, Patrick...a new karma visionary approach to the strategic chomp! Pass the other crock!

Love,
Sage