I bounced off the 3^rd neuron from the left this morning while brushing my teeth when it occurred to me that the mint flavor of my tooth paste didn’t really taste like mint which should by no means have surprised me because artificial flavor does mean artificial, you know, fake.

I have no legitimate reason to complain about this so I won’t, merely adding that natural flavor toothpastes do exist except that I’m too cheap to buy them, even with a coupon, that, and the question of what if the natural mint didn’t taste like mint either because of all the processing involved to squeeze it into the tube and besides who wants to buy a product like “Joes natural toothpaste” which pretty much reminds me of some of the e-coli infested broccoli they try to sell me at the organic vegetable section of the supermarket.  I mean really, I grew up on a farm and I know what organic fertilizer is all about and frankly it’s not too pretty but I’ve never been squeamish about such things, I just can’t see paying extra for shit although right at this very moment I can feel the breeze off the wagging fingers of the healthy crowd reminding me that it is better to have the shit on the outside of the product rather than incorporated directly into the product which brings me back to artificial ingredients.

 I like MSG, the bogie man of the culinary world. Yes I know some people can’t tolerate it but then some people die from eating a peanut or a crabcake. I like both those things too. MSG is as natural as the day is long, originally derived from “kombu,” a seaweed, for thousands of years by the Japanese.  Leave it to modern food manufacturers to isolate and concentrate the compound marketing it as a powerful flavor enhancer. It does a marvelous job. Don’t believe me? Look at the ingredients list on the back of your Cheetos bag. Now who doesn’t like Cheetos? I rest my case. I never claimed Cheetos are good for you, just don’t blame it on MSG. All this has got me to thinking about toothpaste again. Maybe if Colgate would add just a little MSG to my toothpaste it would taste more real. Maybe Joe’s already does…… Excuse me, I gotta go check a label.

 Copyright 2010 Patrick Granfors