Mary had a little lamb

The restaurant fleeced her though

They charged her twenty seven bucks

For a glass of stale merlot

Using all the mulberry bush

They tried refining diesel

The octane output was a joke

Pop goes the diesel

Humpty Dumpty scrawled on a wall

A bunch of graffiti at the local mall

All the cop’s horses and all the cop’s men

Scrambled him good now he won’t do it again

Jack and Jill went up the hill

To fetch a pail of water

Pants came down exposed the crown

And soon they had a daughter

Baa baa black sheep have you any wool

No sir no sir and that’s no bull

Feds took my masters

And also took the dames

And made it into uniforms for the boys down the lane

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet

Enjoying crumpets and a nice Earl Grey

Along came a spider who sat down beside her

So she smashed it to bits with her tray

Peter Peter pumpkin eater

Stuck his tongue in a parking meter

Got more quarters than he would tell

Even though it hurt like hell

Little Jack Horner sat in a corner

Drinking tequila and rye

He grabbed the jug firm and sucked out the worm

And said what a drunk boy am I

Copyright 2010 Patrick Granfors