Boobs flopping slowly

From side to side

The agent watched the scanner

Now that you’ve seen

My dangling participles

That me dotting my I’s and

Crossing my T’s

Is more like your eyes

Crossing my T’s & A

But never mind…anything

To protect my fellow passenger

From a madman who has chosen to stuff

A giant firecracker up his Symbolic Colon

Even though body cavities are invisible

To this silly machine

Which I suppose is marginally better

Than Bubba fondling my privates

Far better to be a scanned indirect object

Rather than a direct object of Bubba

Even though you have to object directly

To be a direct object

Which I guess makes sense

But Bubba is a security officer

Making him a perfect example

Of a predicate nominative

And if he’s gay and I accept the scan

Does that make me a homograph

And him a homographer

Even though I am not gay

Or is this just some other wild form of

Government sponsored video pornography

Whose daily interjection into my personal life

Is amplified by the insertion, ouch!

Of Bubba’s wand into my posterior

Searching for Janet Napolitano’s holy grail

Oh, there’s a grail in there alright

But it’s not very holy

Full cavity search

Have at it

Did I mention

I ate a dozen bean burritos for lunch

I’ve got a lexical verb for your situation

RUN!

Copyright 2010 Patrick Granfors