Is it possible to waste more time than you have?

If my dog has fleas will it help me tune my Ukulele?

Can a white elephant be racist?

Does stopping at a green light make up for running a red one?

Neither rain nor sleet nor snow will prevent the U.S. Postal Service

from delivering my jury summons to my nosy neighbor.

I discovered the meaning of life but somehow it got lost in the translation.

If sunset foreshadows early to bed and

Sunrise signifies early to rise

Does the daily solstice portend a nooner?

I was accused of making mountains out of mole hills

Then they saw the moles.

If charity begins at home how come the IRS won’t give me a deduction?

The zookeeper heard my tummy growl so he shot it with a tranquilizer dart.

I’m still hungry but now my stomach’s asleep

I mixed some sunshine with some moonshine; I turned all red but I couldn’t remember why.

Climb every mountain, forge every stream, include me in your will.

What’s the difference between partly cloudy and partly sunny?

I tried to borrow some time but they told me my credit’s no good.

I decided to name my dog Rolex, she knows what time it is and she’s a lot cheaper

Copyright 2010 Patrick Granfors