The Closet Song (poem) by Patrick A Granfors on AuthorsDen

The Closet Song
by Patrick A Granfors → (All Poetry by Patrick A Granfors)
Rated "PG" by the Author.

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Lighten up folks this is just in fun…..no gays or lesbians were injured during the composition of these lyrics. To the Stephen Foster tune, “Oh Suzanna”

You were the apple of my eye Until I found out you had worms I drank a quart of disinfectant Just to wash away your germs Oh Bruceanna, why do you torture me A bushel basket full of lovin’ And I’m always on my knees I thought that I was over you Then you knocked upon my door And within about two minutes My pants were on the floor Oh Bruceanna, why do you torture me A bushel basket full of lovin’ And I’m always on my knees You successfully hijacked my heart But the ransom check has bounced Now I know I’ll never get it back With my love for you pronounced Oh Bruceanna, why do you torture me A bushel basket full of lovin’ And I’m always on my knees We went to see the preacher man But he just shook his head There is no way I can marry you Since you’re both already wed Oh Bruceanna, why do you torture me A bushel basket full of lovin’ And I’m always on my knees Well I guess this means we’ll carry on As we complicate our lives The only thing we haven’t figured out Is when to go home to our wives Oh Bruceanna, why do you torture me A bushel basket full of lovin’ And I’m always on my knees Copyright 2011 Patrick Granfors

Reviewed by Regis Auffray

Reviewed on October 21, 2011

That is quite the song, Patrick; funny stuff. Thanks for sharing. Love and peace,

Regis

Reviewed by Eileen Granfors

Reviewed on October 19, 2011

Nice anniversary present, dear. Oh, and I have a headache not likely to go away any time soon. Best wishes to Bruceanna.

Reviewed by John Coppolella

Reviewed on October 7, 2011

Lol. A comical retreat. Well done, Pat.

Reviewed by Axilea MU

Reviewed on October 5, 2011

Everything is funny here, even the introduction (to the poem, I mean). Inspiration is everywhere :))

Axilea

Reviewed by Chip Bergeron

Reviewed on October 1, 2011

Don't ask....don't tell...but it's usually kid of obvious!!!

Chip Bergeron

Reviewed by La Belle Rouge Poetess Of The Heart

Reviewed on September 30, 2011

You are a mess Patrick!!! Too funny, no pun intended.

Reviewed by Ronald Hull

Reviewed on September 25, 2011

Now that's a hoot! Brought back Broke Back Mountain. Or was it, the Boys in the Band. Whatever, I was on my knees so I forgot.

Ron

Reviewed by Karen Vanderlaan

Reviewed on September 24, 2011

funny!

Reviewed by Annabel Sheila

Reviewed on September 23, 2011

giggle............you're a hoot, Patrick!!! Lively little ditty!

Anna

Reviewed by Mr. Ed

You were the apple of my eye,
Until I found out you had worms

Wow - is he an old Ed Family relative??!!

PS: Ma's a little worried about Jersey Ed's comment, too.

Reviewed by Andy Turner

LOL.
Is her/his name Deknees by any chance.

Reviewed by Richard King

Reviewed on September 22, 2011

Oh Patrickanna!!!!
Your name must be Fred.
There's an image in my minds eye
that I just cannot shed……

Unfortunately, it's not something that I can share in this format.... You are a trip, my friend. Dick

PS" Can't wait to see Eileen's comment about this one....

Reviewed by Paul Berube

I'm lost for words, Patrick! lol

Reviewed by Ed Matlack

Your wife already knows & as for me, you are my ONLY true love...LOL, ed

Reviewed by Lonnie Hicks

Funny, relevant and funny again.

Reviewed by Sage Sweetwater

I'd like to see the size of those apples in the basket! They grow 'em big up on Brokeback Mountain, where men are men and sheep get a break!...good 'un Pat! I'll do the screenplay...

Love,
Sage

Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader)

Surprised you didn't compose one about the new military where openly gays can enlist and date and . . . Talk about your pink berets.

Reviewed by pat medlin

same sex marriage lobyists are going to love this....ithink....hmmmm