Congressional Q&A - From the Crow’s Nest (poem) by Patrick A Granfors on AuthorsDen

Congressional Q&A - From the Crow’s Nest
by Patrick A Granfors → (All Poetry by Patrick A Granfors)
Rated "G" by the Author.

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About one percent of Americans have a net worth over a million dollars. In Congress, the number is 44 percent. Seem fair to you? Here are some random questions and answers I contemplated this past weekend. Laugh or cry, it’s your choice.

Q: How many Congressmen does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None. Light bulbs are too small to screw in but bathroom stalls are very popular. Q: Why did the Congressman cross the road? A: In order to collect from the lobbyists of both parties Q: Why did the Congressman consume so much at the trough? A: The pigs were too slow Q: Why do the Congressman who are attorneys help so many interns start their political careers? A: They enjoy doing pro-boner work. Q: What’s the difference between Congress and a cesspool? A: A cesspool serves a useful function. Q: Why did they locate Congress on Pennsylvania Ave? A: Transylvania Ave was already occupied. Q: What is the difference between a Congressman and Dracula? A: Nothing, they are both universal recipients Q: What’s the difference between Congress and a stockyard? A: Chairs. Q: Why did Congress redo the nutrition pyramid? A: They consider pork to be its own food group. Q: Why is the average income of a Congressman in 2011 just over a million dollars? A: The lobbyists agreed to postdate their checks to 2012 Q: Why is the price of pork rising faster than inflation? A: Political favors are always more expensive before elections Q: What are Congresses favorite polka lyrics? A: “Roll out the barrels” Q: Why is it called the “Congressional” Medal of Honor? A: Damn good question. Q: Why aren’t Congressmen exempt from income taxes? A: They haven’t passed the legislation yet Q: Why did Congress choose the Eagle as the national bird? A: Turkey was too tasty and they didn’t want everybody eating the national bird plus they had already chosen the vulture as their own role model. Q: Why are Congressmen so prone to sex scandals? A: They get so much practice on their constituents it just comes naturally. Copyright 2011 Patrick Granfors

Reviewed by Ronald Hull

Reviewed on November 1, 2011

Now there's one that's going to go viral on the Internet. Do I have your permission to repost it? Your insight is uncanny. And your humor is showing. So much better than a moonshot.

Know why we can't go to the moon anymore? That's one loophole Congress won't pass. They'd rather look at it through the hole in the infrastructure, than go there again.

Ron

Reviewed by Richard King

LAUGHING - "...pro-boner work." - CRYING - "...“Congressional” Medal of Honor..." Seems the award would be so much more meaningful if it weren't awarded by such a reprehensible group of people.

Good one Patrick. Dick

Reviewed by Annabel Sheila

Hilarious!!!! Pathetic stats though! You really should send these in to newspapers...they should be shared...giggle...might as well laugh at the sorry state our countries are in...crying makes my eyes puffy....

Anna

Reviewed by Mr. Ed

All Very Good, and My Favorite:

Q: What’s the difference between Congress and a cesspool?

A: A cesspool serves a useful function.

Reviewed by JASMIN HORST SEILER

Reviewed on October 31, 2011

Caw caw caw, you see well from way up there my friend, the rollin seas neath your bow, and land nowhwere in sight, gawd you are good, you sure are. Bless ya! Jasmin Horst

Good for Halloween, or everyday,

Reviewed by Paul Berube

You hit the nail right on the head with this great write, Patrick. Excellent piece of work that should be published in every newspaper across the entire country.

Reviewed by pat medlin

truth hurts patrick ...but i choose to laugh at your clever way of spot lighting...pat