Doing the Math #2 (poem) by Patrick A Granfors on AuthorsDen

Doing the Math #2
by Patrick A Granfors → (All Poetry by Patrick A Granfors)
Rated "G" by the Author.

Save

Once again, more stuff you just cannot make up. Dateline: Durham, England December 02, 2011 A local crematorium intends to install a turbine generator unit that will capture the heat of the cremation process and convert it to electricity. An average human corpse evidently provides enough fuel to produce 150 kilowatt hours of power according to the report. That�s 1,500 incandescent light bulbs rated at 100 watts for an hour. Over 90% of Europeans opt for cremation over burial compared to 50% in the U.S. so apparently the supply is there. Operating 24/7 the unit will pay for itself in 5 years. Some off the wall thoughts in 5-7-5 format.

Modern man devolved When man becomes fossil fuel Are we dinosaurs? Mass worm starvation Casket smorgasbord denied Power grid supplied You’re working too hard When you are the midnight oil Lighting up the world My carbon footprint Literally up in smoke Cap and trade fodder No free lunch for you My final defiant act Credit my account When your hip socket Powers up your light socket You’ve been unplugged Here’s a final note To those who used my power You can kiss my ash Copyright 2011 Patrick Granfors

Reviewed by Mary Ann Biddinger

Reviewed on December 18, 2011

The Phoenix rose from the ashes..oh, that was another story..
Hilarious and imaginative poem.. good one!
Lady Mary Ann

Reviewed by Vivian Dawson

So many smiles and chuckles on
this one *Patrick* especially for
anyone who is not good at math!!!

Lady Vivian

Reviewed by Axilea MU

Reviewed on December 17, 2011

Very inspired! Your first question is delightfully philosophical, and I love it, Patrick! Also, I could imagine that mass starvation of worms due to this new technology. Nice conclusion! Thought provoking and very funny stuff.

Axilea

Reviewed by Annabel Sheila

Reviewed on December 16, 2011

Once again you have me in stitches! Hahahahaha! LOVED the last one the most! giggle

Anna

Reviewed by Mr. Ed

Not a bad idea, but I wonder if Soylent Green wouldn't be a better solution. In that vision of the future, when we die huge processing plants turn us into Food Pellets to feed those still alive. If the predictions are right, and we one day soon have 10 Billion hungry human beings on this food short planet, maybe Food Pellets and Electrical Power from our corpses could be very useful for a time.

I do feel sorry for the worms, however. If we stop feeding them, they'll be dying off, too.

Reviewed by Richard King

Reviewed on December 15, 2011

I'm not as good with the math, but the materials saved by not needing a casket must save another 1500 kilowatt hours, don't you think? And no fuel used to dig the hole, seems to me like you're on to something here Patrick. Well done. Dick

Reviewed by Ed Matlack

From the beginning I thought that last line was coming & my condolances to the wife that wants to kiss that ash...Jurseeeeeeeeeey

Reviewed by M. Reagan Wayne

So, so funny! You are talented my friend. You just lighted the world with these lyrics. May the power be with you.

Reviewed by Eileen Granfors

Hilarious. I love the last two stanzas. Don't rush it, but I would love to kiss your ash. e

Reviewed by m j hollingshead

stars

Reviewed by Ronald Hull

The ultimate in recycling. Instead of letting us become fossil fuels in millions of years, just turn us around right now and push us into the furnace like so many Aushwitz fire logs.

Ron

Reviewed by Paul Berube

lol Very well put to prose, Patrick.

Reviewed by JASMIN HORST SEILER

Think of it Patrick, you'll be lighting up the world a lot longer than the midnight oil, there is one more burning coming up, ha,
Hugs! Jasmin Horst