Redneck Valentine (poem) by Patrick A Granfors on AuthorsDen

Redneck Valentine
by Patrick A Granfors → (All Poetry by Patrick A Granfors)
Rated "G" by the Author.

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For My Sweetie

I have to thank you once each year For the gracious fetchin’ of my beer To let you know it warms my heart You don’t complain much when I fart You welcome up the dogs in bed Who love to stretch out on your head My dirty socks upon the floor Elbowed ribcage when I snore I knew our love was sure to blossom When you shared my breakfast possum Who else could set my heart on fire As you pulled it gently off the tire Amazing fishin’ trip we took How fast you learned to bait my hook I promise you I’ll share the liquor When you figure out how to clean fish quicker You can bet your bottom dollar After huntin’ squirrels in Wooley Holler Or catchin’ crawdads in swampy creek I vow to bathe at least once a week Why I love you numbers in the dozens You’re better in bed than our other cousins So I offer you this Valentine Now git up to the still and fetch my “shine” Copyright 2012 Patrick Granfors

Reviewed by Regis Auffray

Reviewed on March 22, 2013

You lucky redneck! LOL!!! Thanks for sharing, Patrick. Love and peace,

Regis

Reviewed by La Belle Rouge Poetess Of The Heart

Reviewed on February 20, 2013

LOVE THIS, do you know Salley Sue? I really enjoy redneck poems.

Reviewed by Christine Tsen

Reviewed on February 11, 2013

OMG Patrick, I have not seen you post in so long and you've been missed...this is such a freaking banquet of images and just a wonderful tribute to your sweetie!!!
Pour a drink and let the next poem begin!
Christine xx

Reviewed by Annabel Sheila

OMG!Rolling around laughing!!!! I hope you at least gave her a bouquet of dandelions with this lovely verse....giggle...

Anna

Reviewed by Morgan Merriweather

Reviewed on February 10, 2013

very cool valentine!

Reviewed by Vivian Dawson

You have far too much company
with this poem in the South!

Lady Vivian

Reviewed by Asa Seeley

humorous...enjoyed. asa

Reviewed by Ronald Hull

Reviewed on February 9, 2013

You got me laughing! I sure miss your wit on this witless site. Thanks for the laugh.

Ron

Reviewed by Mr. Ed

You have to be related to Matlack if you're still eating Road Kill. Have you two exchanged recipes yet?

Reviewed by Ed Matlack

Reviewed on February 8, 2013

I certainly got a smile out of this, Pat...ur woman is a goodun', I'd keep her ifn' I was you...e

Reviewed by Tom poesyco.th@gmail.com

Reviewed by Mary Ann Biddinger

~Patrick~
Redneck humor is a blast and "hilarious."
Giggles !!!

Lady Mary Ann

Reviewed by Jerry Bolton

I guess I've seen so many of these redneck poems, that they have become tiresome. There was a time when I laughed right along everyone else, and even composed(?) a few. Maybe it's me. Maybe the poems aren't tiresome. Could be me that is the tiresome one. Still, I came, I read the first verse and knew it was going to be the same old same old, and then I commented. This isn't personal, Patrick, I guess I just needed to make a public statement concerning redneck anything.

Reviewed by Eileen Granfors

Be good or I'm takin' the bacon ice cream.

Reviewed by Paul Berube

Can't wait to see this on a Hallmark card next year, Patrick! ;-) Well done, my friend.