Roast This...Scott (Zachary)

Scott, a good friend, but one that NEEDS roasting,

Quit drinking Corona’s of late, my stock it did go down,

Bet he is more than ever doing the smoke,

This man needs recognition more than most folk…

Comes to us from Kentucky right now,

Where bourbon and tobacco are right up there with the sow,

The poor woman he married, her life a living hell, he is such a cow,

His intelligence so high, but with that over hanging brow,

He looks like he belongs in an institute for the mentally insane and right now…

Dickweed is our nickname for each other; suffice it to say, it matches him quite well,

I on the other hand, cannot fathom why anyone would call me that; I am so swell,

But he, you can imagine, if you don’t mind that nightmarish image being allowed to dwell,

A great writer he is, but his feet they do smell,

Fortunately with his feet he does not type,

I hope he enjoys this roast, surrounding this hype…

No longer a lush, still in every other way a slut,

He will never change, his poor wife, living within his smelly feet’ range,

The woman is a god, or a saint at the very least, puts up with him so deranged…

So much more I could go on with, a lot more I could tell,

But don’t want to give his lawyers too much ammo,

For I am sure I will be hearing from them soonest,

Unable is he to let a good lawsuit just dwell…

                        © ed – 5/28/04

[Be sure to check out Scott’s book, SCORN THIS’, an excellent read]