Living in ZOO Jersey (poem) by Ed Matlack on AuthorsDen

Living in ZOO Jersey
by Ed Matlack → (All Poetry by Ed Matlack)
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Actually it might be horror, it is for those of us living here, but for you it might be humor...

Living in ZOO Jersey… No place better to grow up to learn to be crazy, If you live in NJ long enough you will also learn to be lazy, I have lived here all my life, and my mind is just a bit hazy, Could be all those drugs I did, but I doubt it, NJ just wants to make you go out and pick for a living, daisies… Better to walk or take the bus, as in NJ the drivers are full of it, Five hundred pound drivers squeezing into a sub compact, barely do they fit, Old ladies with white hair, driving from below the dash, how do they see where they sit? Truck drivers half asleep, not very legit I must really say herein, yes I do submit… Better in New Jersey to ride a horse, or better yet a cow, yes a Guernsey, Or maybe ride a cat, with a horn that goes meow, Just don’t ever ride a sow, as in NJ that is illegal, yes they do not allow, Do not ride your bicycle either, bike lanes ARE out there, still you will find you do get plowed… In NJ there is no right of way or consideration of others, Not even for expecting or pregnant mothers, They have to live like the rest of us, ready to give the famous NJ wave, whenever necessary, Yes the middle finger is used a great deal in New Jersey; we value it as a prize, Along with screaming obscenities while talking on the cell phone, driving and giving birth, All at the same time, we are all multi-tasked, gotta be living in NJ, the state with no mirth… © ed ~ 8/23/04**

Reviewed by Nordette Adams

Reviewed on August 29, 2004

You forgot one thing that peeved me when I became a resident,
what my daughter calls a conspiracy between gas stations and government,
that instead of making simple turns to backtrack a little bit,
sometimes you must drive and drive for miles if a turn you've missed.
You waste gas and priceless time; it truly is a scandal!
For Jersey is the home of the notorious "U" jug handle.
.......................... ;-) Nordette

Reviewed by Bob Holt (Reader)

Reviewed on August 24, 2004

Great job. I think this is what they mean by preaching to the choir. Been there, still there, seen that. You have an eye witness who will confirm that this is all absolutely true.

Bob H

Reviewed by Kate Clifford (Reader)

I have a friend that works in NJ a lot for the Dollar stores and he has often told me about the crazy drivers. Good write.

Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner

Reviewed on August 23, 2004

(((ed)))

funny write--glad i live in texas, though :) even with all its tornadoes and HUGE BUGS

(((HUGS))) and love, karla.

Reviewed by Mr. Ed

What do you folks grow in this 'Garden State' of Zoo Jersey?! Or is it the water you folks drink?! Or is it the Jersey Devil?! Inquiring minds want to know.

Reviewed by Michael Charles Messineo

Ed, I was born and raised in NJ... but I escaped in the 6th grade. I know exactly what you mean!!!

...Michael

Reviewed by Franz Kessler

Lovely description of the Garden State, its ambience penned with empathy and humor. Very enjoyable & funny write, Ed. I miss NJ, two of my kids live in Secaucus. Franz

Reviewed by Cynth'ya Reed

Gee, thought I was reading about California for a moment :-) . . . or NYC road ragers.

Reviewed by Thomas Lanechanger (Reader)

Excellent write Poet! Ed, so now I remember where it was I saw you, it was on the N.J. Turnpike and you were waving that number one sign. You kept yelling something out the window too but, I couldn’t hear you…lol. Love the state, and the people are second to none! Peace thru living and lovin in ZOO Jersey! P.S. Just stay away from that creepy Governor…lol! Take care and give Rufuz an extra bone from me. This way when I come visiting for one of your famous cookouts he won’t bite me or lift his leg…lol! Peace my valued friend.

Reviewed by E T Waldron

Reviewed on August 22, 2004

Wow Ed! Am I supposed to be glad I moved to California? If it's the way you say, I am;-) Your Gov. must be just right for the state;-)Poor Jersey, it's taking a real bashing!

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes

Reckless living Methings....Yip!!

Love Tinka

Living in ZOO Jersey…