Gardening Tips from the Gardening Impaired…

Though I have a black thumb,

I have done my share of picking a plum,

Only one did I pick, as I was too busy drinking my rum,

Cannot can I do any gardening unless I am thoroughly numb…

Don’t hang the bird feeder above the picnic table,

Don’t think that no one has done this; it is not a fable,

I told you I have not got much smarts, my mind less than stable,

I hope these tips do help you in your own garden,

No physical help can I offer, as I am very much so unable…

Hell this writer cannot even grow grass,

Sorry to those out there that I did not this explain,

I meant the green kind most of us have in our yards,

Not the green kind that dries to brown,

That we would then smoke in a pipe made of brass,

Usually while we are relaxing but sometimes while playing cards…

        © ed ~ 5/6/05