Men are on this planet because vibrators can’t buy drinks… (poem) by Ed Matlack on AuthorsDen

Men are on this planet because vibrators can’t buy drinks…
by Ed Matlack → (All Poetry by Ed Matlack)
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Yes I know this poem already stinks, Vibrators need to learn to buy drinks, No longer would men be needed, Hope you don’t find me herein to be too conceited… I am a man, at least I was last time I looked, Give me a second to check again, Five fingers, toes, one penis and two of them, Yep all here, one woman on me is hooked, Hope this she does not see, Otherwise my goose may be quite well cooked… My future may be iffy, No, she would never get rid of me, in bed I am stiffy, At most she might do, Is throw me out naked to catch the flu, At least I got my dog to help keep me warm, Right Rufuz, hey buddy, where you goin’? To sleep with mom in her warm bed, You are a traitor to all that is male, Better I have a pet of a snail, Slower they move without a sail, Yeah, go ahead you mutt, see if ever again by me you get fed…J © ed ~ 12/6/05

Reviewed by June Thompson (Reader)

Reviewed on December 9, 2005

hahaha

I still prefer the man!! I could say so much hahaha.. this struck a conversation awhile back omg!

great write

Reviewed by Steve Patterson

Reviewed on December 7, 2005

good write.
TX

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes

Vibrating thought provoking stinky plastic.....no thank you....NOTHIN like real beef...AIKONA..energizer or eveready!!

You cannot eat a peace and think it's a lollie...no bloody way!!

Love Tinka

Reviewed by Sue Hess

i always knew it was missing some little something but could never really figure it out...we've been so close for so long, i have trouble being objective

Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader)

Also how many men can vibrate.. Good ole washing machines...

Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader)

I guess we are going to have to petition Congress to makke a law (another one) that mandates that women give us guys the respect that we are due. Attatched to that bill could be a penalty for traitorous pets, you know, like thirty lashes, high noon, main street.

Reviewed by Dan Rains (Reader)

Thanks Ed. Not only a good write, but pretty .#$% funny.
Dan

Reviewed by Sage Sweetwater

Reviewed on December 6, 2005

I own stock in the EverReady Battery Company. I receive a profit in return. I can buy my own drink and get buzzed with fresh batteries. And ... vibrators do buy drinks in a lesbian bar. Lay one down on the bar and every doll in the house ... well, Ed! It's like they say in Alaska, Men are men and women win the Iditarod!

Sage