Be sure to read the label before using cooking spray… (poem) by Ed Matlack on AuthorsDen

Be sure to read the label before using cooking spray…
by Ed Matlack → (All Poetry by Ed Matlack)
Rated "G" by the Author.

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If you are eating or drinking be sure to swallow before reading this one, I wouldn't want to be responsible for you spitting onto your computer monitor/screen...oh and if you are standing, you had better sit...;)

Was cooking a ham, No not me, a real ham, Not here to make a scam, Boy did I make a mess, damn… Sprayed the pan, Smelled like lemons, man, Is butter spray supposed to smell like that, ‘Hell, I was only tryin’ to avoid the fat… Instead I got Lysol with lemons, Maybe after all I drank I got delirium tremens, If nothing else my ham did smell pretty nice, No chance with Lysol would it have lice, Hey, I am trying here to give you some good advice… So before reading, don your glasses, I did not and look what happened, I even did take a few cooking classes, Apparently they did not teach me very well, Wonder if I will after Lysoled ham, die and go to hell…? © ed ~ 12/31/05

Reviewed by B.J. Olvera

Reviewed on January 3, 2006

Very cute! i like the way you put things together.

Reviewed by Marilyn Seray

Reviewed on January 1, 2006

Oh no! funny poem. Brown sugar, gingerale and coke, baste. Glad you didnt get sick. Now you can use a piece of ham to polish the furniture.

Reviewed by Regis Auffray

Reviewed on December 31, 2005

Thanks for sharing the humor, Ed. Be careful, though. Love and peace to you.

Regis

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes

Lysol is better than deodorant....it does not make your ham stink either!!

Love Tinka

Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader)

New cooking technique? It'll catch on as the latest new diet fad if you can't eat it, you will lose weight. Brilliant! Take advantage of this and promote it. Dr. Phil is a-calling.

Reviewed by Mr. Ed

Ho Ho! Good One, Chef D.W. Did you learn that on the Martha Stewart Show?

PS Next time try Raid - I hear it will give that ham a 'fresh, outdoorsy, picnic cooked' smell - the cute little now immune picnic bugs love it, too!

Reviewed by Steve Patterson

love it...dumb ass.
home ec is avaiablble at the nearby jr college...i know they teach spellin two.
happy and better2u.
(damn the profeesor would love us,me&u, and the damn dog...hey think about our graduteed class) The Class of been ther done that.
TX

Reviewed by SHERRY HEIM

Reviewed on December 30, 2005

HaHa!...I once grabbed a can of hairspray and sprayed my hair, turns out it was Lysol, but I had to leave right away and catch the school bus so I didn't get to wash it out of my hair until I got home...I had been having a little bit of dandruff at that time in my life...the Lysol cured it...Perhaps it will cure whatever ails you too, Ed...and then, perhaps not!
Take care,
Sherry