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Ed Matlack

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Dear Santa...
by Ed Matlack → (All Poetry by Ed Matlack)
   Rated "G" by the Author.
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Poem Artwork

I would like to ask for a small thing,
Nothing too big, nothing expensive,
Just something to keep my willy warm,
To me he is an art form…

As I get older,
He seems to get colder,
Wish I could keep him warm,
Especially during the occasional ice storm…

If you could Santa, get me a warmer for my willy,
Though it may look altogether quite silly,
I will be the only one to see it for sure,
And if it grows, my willy, not the warmer,
I can always find a larger size,
Thank you Santa if you can for me this product procure…
© -me- 11/29/14
  

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 Reviews of "Dear Santa..."
Reviewed on November 30, 2014
WILLY WARMER ?
FA GET A BOUT IT ...
HE "RETIRED" YEARS AGO !
BETTER ASK SANTA FOR ... VIAGRA !!!
HO HO HO !

Reviewed by D. Vegas (Reader)
Reviewed on November 30, 2014
Ed you give me laughter!

Always,

Deborah

Reviewed by Regis Auffray
Reviewed on November 30, 2014
Keep warm, Ed! Love and peace to you,

Regis

Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on November 30, 2014
First you want your two front teeth, now a willy warmer… What's the world coming to! Don't you know that making it too warm will kill all of the little puppies you're trying to make? Silly boy, better to get some booties or some more diapers to keep your bottom dry and warm.

Ron

Reviewed by Michael Schafer
Reviewed on November 30, 2014
Dear Ed,
Keep your wiily warm yourself,
when the weather starts to freeze.
I would've put you on my list,
but you forgot to say please.

Santa

Reviewed by E Phillips
Reviewed on November 30, 2014
OK but next thing your know
you'll want an anxiety attacker for your tallywhacker.
Whatever works...

Reviewed by Mr. Ed
Reviewed on November 30, 2014
Ma wants to know if you still wear 'Extra Small?' She laughed and said: "I bet he does!!"

I really love dear old Ma!

Reviewed on November 30, 2014
Perhaps a nice hat and scarf to match?

Love ya!

Jane


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