PHILADELPHIA    VS    CAROLINA

   EAGLES                     PANTHERS

Both football teams want to go to the Super Bowl,

Obviously only one can “goal”,

The other will have to take themselves for a stroll,

Back to their state of origin, that being Carolina,

            And here I don’t cajole.

But prior to fans coming to Philly,

To back their team, which is only right,

They need to be explained that things in Philly,

Are different than that of their home, especially at night,

As here in the north, we have electric light,

And other futuristic stuff they may not be used too.

We here in the North, have indoor plumbing,

Something they may find hard to swallow,

But you don’t eat it, so don’t worry, used to it you’ll get.

Then, instead of using your boobs to support your beer,

We have holders and tables to help with that here.

Sorry if I offend your redneck ways,

But it’s just that you need to come here and be ready,

For the future, everywhere you stay,

It isn’t easy being a redneck from Carolina,

But if you try real hard, I bet you will do okay,

As you will be going home the very next day,

With your tail between your legs & toilet paper attached to your ass,

Oh, you’re supposed to flush that down the drain,

But I forgot, your potty trainin’ was done in an outhouse,

No handle to strain your little brain to learn to use,

Just pull up your pants and scratch your ass with your shoes…

                                                                                                     (ed)