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Ed Matlack

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Member Since: Aug, 2003

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Real Men Don't Vacuum...
by Ed Matlack → (All Poetry by Ed Matlack)
  
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Well, they don't...


Poem Artwork

REAL MEN DON’T DO VACUUMING…


 


VACUUMING, A WOMANS CHORE,


But if men really knew the score,


they would be doing so with more,


zest, and interest, as they would do it,


with their brand new hoover vacuum tractor.


 


yes, new from hoover, a ride on vacuum,


takes corners like a pro, sucks up legume,


hell, it may even suck up that cat,


you have been trying to get rid of since marriage,


but, wives, don’t disparage,


As the bag attaches to the rear,


and it would be most clear,


if the cat was caught in the cloth bag,


nothing would be left of it, but a rag.


 


hoover even made it so you can cut the lawn,


with a special cutting attachment you can buy,


from the factory or the dealer,


or the shop that does pawn,


it is a definite bet, odds-on,


that you will find this item to be,


what it is you want to purchase,


and you will in no way, shape or form,


                        walk-on…


                                                            (ed)


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 Reviews of "Real Men Don't Vacuum..."
Reviewed by Bobbie Hess (Reader)
Reviewed on February 1, 2004
Wanna bet? Real men only think they don't vacuum and I won't explain further as I know several who feel exactly that way. b

Reviewed by Jim Dunlap
Reviewed on January 30, 2004
Clever. I doubt the cat would appreciate it though.

Reviewed by Kate Clifford (Reader)
Reviewed on January 29, 2004
Sure now they come out with the easy tools, now that men have to help with the clean up! :-) Fun write.

Reviewed by Jeanette Foresta
Reviewed on January 29, 2004
Now they have the one you can just leave on and go do something else and it vacumes by itself. If they only can invent a robotic maid!

Reviewed on January 29, 2004
Oh MY, I loved this, laughing so hard here, I loved that picture!

Reindeer

Reviewed by Anna Marie Fritz (Reader)
Reviewed on January 29, 2004
Hey, hey, hey...you've gone too far...you clown!
The man that would vacuum up my cat and make a "rag"
of it...would be left in shreds himself...in short order!
Hee hee hee...I'm joining with Eddie in warning about PETA.

Reviewed by Dan Summerfield (Reader)
Reviewed on January 29, 2004
Good one, Ed;

But the John Deere model can do even more,
It can plow the Earth as though she's a wh--e.
While plowing last spring what did I hear?
Earth said to Plow, "A little deeper John, dear."

Dan S.

Reviewed by Mr. Ed
Reviewed on January 29, 2004
You really know how to hurt a guy, Ed. Every time I do a really really good job vacuuming, my wife says, "You are a very handy man to have around!"

And what's with this vicious cat attack? PETA will be contacting you shortly. Please be civil when they arrive.


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