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Pandemic Persists but I'm Recalibrating My Mind and Spirit 1/25/2021 9:32:43 AM
Pandemic hanging on and even getting worse but my new mind set and emotions have been "vaccinated" and recalibrated to accept what I can not control - at least at this point!
This pandemic is here to stay for a while but my mental and emotional state is moving forward; it simply has to - my choice, of course. I don't want to continue to be a "victim" just waiting for the shoe to drop in spite of the fact that i have "played by the rules" 100%, with Dr. Faucin sitting on my shoulder.
I have lived in basic isolation since the pandemic inception (even prior, due to a pneumonia bout, so I was used to it). Living alone, even for a loner, private person who has come to cherish my own company, silence, meditation and delicious hobbies like reading, writing and good music is wonderful - when it it your choice! But being forced to for fear of contracting Covid when surrounded by irresponsible building neighbors or God bless them, folks who don't believe this bug is real!
Once I educated myself on all aspects of Covid, I proceeded to do what I could to protect myself: isolate; shop online; have groceries delivered, etc., and until "safe," and encouraged by scientists, get out for walks in nature and fresh air - all good for your physical and mental health.
I pretty much handled this routine until November (holidays?) and just got incredibly irritable and frustrated; I wanted to explode! A jock all my life, I was exercising - a lot - at home since my "Temple" (health club I normally visit daily for hours) was closed. Yoga, Tai Chi, weights, Pilates and my daily 4-mile walks were not enough. I felt like a stranger inside myself!
Zoom, of course, has opened up the world of virtual communication and has helped immensely, giving us the opportunity to virtually see our friends, family or participate in a myriad social or educational programs. And, don't forget Netflix!
So we are blessed with all these indoor options for activities to keep us busy and sane, but, eventually, nothing beats the human energy and a live chat...
Things are moving in the right direction; I am so grateful for that. But, until we get herd immunity and I, personally, am able to be vaccinated safely because of my life-threatening allergies, I know I have to keep un truckin' and switch gears from restless and frustrated to radical acceptance and the most positive of attitudes and...
I AM there!
It has taken a lot of reflection, meditation, prayer - and gratitude - to get me there, but I've arrived.
I don't know how long I will have to be "disciplined" and 100% accept that the only thing I can control is me - and my immediate environment inside my apartment - but I'm good for the long haul - no matter how long it lasts.
I'm grateful that I really enjoy my own company, love to exercise, have indoor hobbies and, being a CA girl, loving self care and taking care of myself with facials, hair care, toes and nails and eating only the best organic foods available.
While I completely, completely understand the frustration my friends are experiencing with weight gain, I'm too neurotic (CA girl, remember?) to put on weight; that would really backfire and it's not going to happen. I could never judge anyone for their body; it isn't mine. All I know is that no longer fill my own emotional void with food; I do it with exercise, thank God. It took a lifetime of hard, hard work to get there, but I'm there.
So Pandemic, please go away and help us all to work together to save ourselves; we are all one family, after all, and we've lost too many members.
In the meantime, I will, daily, get on my knees, thank God for another day, and reinforce my resolve to navigate this time with grace, patience, kindness, love and compassion - especially toward myself.
