"To serve mankind through sexuality"

Sperm Donor

A lonely intellectual
Lived on the Internet
He felt so ineffectual
Although so gifted yet
He felt that he had lost his way

Living in his parents' guest room
Hanging out in the park each day
Lurking in the public rest room
What was he living for?
He wondered as he drooled at magazines

There must be something more

He thought and sought and fought to find
The answer when he felt within his jeans
A way in which to use his mind:
The seeds of greatness lay between his legs!
And that's how a loner
Became a sperm donor

That some would pay to fertilize their eggs
Seemed obvious to him his confidence
Was greater than his outward reticence
Would ever allow

So he wondered how
To maximize this opportunity
To serve mankind through sexuality
But it worked out somehow
He's sure doing it now

And here's what he sings as his ding-dong dings
A little song I'm pleased to pass along:

Sperm donor
Sowing with a smile
My boner
Seeding them in style
Today

I'm a brilliant-child maker
Perhaps a record-breaker
When ladies start showing
That's when things are going
My way

Sperm struggling sturdily upstream
And each one bears the dream
That they
Will be zygotes someday
After the same biological end
As you and me my cock-a-doodle friend

Lending our aid
As I lend my hand
We've got it made
Isn't science grand?

Mom and Dad I've found my niche at last don't you see?
I'm a sex machine sperm donor: little old me!



+Steven Curtis Lance

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