Splish Splash (poem) by Patrick A Granfors on AuthorsDen

Splish Splash
by Patrick A Granfors → (All Poetry by Patrick A Granfors)
Rated "G" by the Author.

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I've been buried under a steaming heap of work for the past 10 days or so. The price of a little time off. Now you know me, I try not to be too hard on people’s misfortune, and despite the fact that rampant stupidity played a part in this national amusement treasure I would have let this one go. BUT now Cathy Cruz Marrero’s has lawyered up and is filing suit against the Berkshire Mall, where she works, in Reading Pennsylvania for her self inflicted national embarrassment. Now bear in mind she is literally unidentifiable in the video that went viral and only after SHE came forward to the media to claim her lawsuit lottery invitation did the public know who she actually was. And oh by the way, did I mention she is facing FELONY charges for charging a few thousand dollars on a friend’s credit card without permission. In most places that is called stealing.

Let me define stupidity I can count the ways Falling right into a fountain Walking in a texting daze Text chatting with a church mate Just before the dreadful deed A marvelous sense of humor The man upstairs does have indeed He didn’t have her crash her car Or get run over by a train He taught a harmless lesson But it seems to be in vain She found herself a lawyer And now she’ll make them pay I hope the judge rules frivolous And sends her on her way She’s made herself notorious And exposed her criminal side Sometimes when you are stupid There's just nowhere you can hide Copyright 2011© Patrick Granfors

Reviewed by Regis Schilken

Reviewed on February 15, 2011

Too funny. Are you not afraid of being sued for writing your poem about this woman or should we just call her a "retard."

rege

Reviewed by Ronald Hull

Reviewed on January 26, 2011

Thanks for clarifying this viral felony for me. Stupidity is reaching high places these days.

Ron

Reviewed by Karen Vanderlaan

Reviewed on January 24, 2011

well done!

Reviewed by Annabel Sheila

Hahaha! Funny story...and told with your usual fabulous wit! Love Chip Bergeron's comments! giggle

Anna

Reviewed by E T Waldron

Reviewed on January 23, 2011

Fantastic! I agree totally, she should be made to pay for her crimes!

Reviewed by Chip Bergeron

That's what happens when there are no lifeguards at the gene pool!!!

Chip Bergeron

Reviewed by Mr. Ed

He didn’t have her crash her car
Or get run over by a train
He taught a harmless lesson
But it seems to be in vain

Alas, most lessons today seem to be in vain.

Reviewed by Mark Lichterman

Reviewed on January 22, 2011

Oh, God, how true! How could this woman blame anyone but herself for her monumental stupidity. Great, wholly truthful poem, my friend.
Mark

Reviewed by Ed Matlack

I'ma gonna get me a lawyer & sue you for speakin' poorly about all us stupid peoples out here...those of us who are stupid are very sensitive about it...;-) ed

Reviewed by Elizabeth Price

lol. I needed some humor. Too bad it's at the expense of another. I think she deserves it. Oh my, I'm being judgemental, maybe because I obey the laws. Love it. Liz

Reviewed by The Poetess

I love the way your poetry flows, Patrick. I dare not fully trust the news for I have experienced it's manipulative side. But this story seems sort of obvious.

She will probably win,
If she is indeed a thief,
Because thieves usually do,
In this world that often pays
Those who step on me and you.

Reviewed by Peter Schlosser (Reader)

i hadn't run across this one yet; but i agree with the "no shortage of idiots" premise set forth here. hope you're doing well my friend, been a while since i seen you round these parts!!

Reviewed by Paul Berube

Excellent write, Patrick. And right on the money, too. She doesn't deserve a dime for her stupidity and yes, I laughed my head off when I saw it. Frivolous indeed.

Reviewed by Christine Tsen

Humorous insights Patrick!
Your true-life poetic stories enlighten and uplift!
Best,
Christine

Reviewed by Richard King

If you read my recent poem, THE NEWS, you'll probably understand that I have no knowledge of this event. However, your poem tells me all that I need to know. Splendidly done Patrick, as always. Thanks for keeping me informed. Dick

PS - quoting one of my Dickism's "DICKISM #29 “We need a lot more Jack Bower’s (a character from the TV series 24) in our world and a lot less whimpering, shriveled dick, prissy assed judges worrying about criminals rights.”