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Patrick A Granfors

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Member Since: May, 2009

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Zombie Alert
by Patrick A Granfors → (All Poetry by Patrick A Granfors)
   Rated "G" by the Author.
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John Bidwell touched on this topic a couple of days ago in one of his reviews, so don’t blame me. John was right. We in this country are experiencing a serious lack of critical thinking.

The CDC recently decided to think outside of the box in their efforts to raise public awareness and preparedness for potential disasters such as hurricanes, floods and epidemics. Their rather novel solution involved the “emergency notification” of an impending Zombie Apocalypse posted on May 16th, just five days prior to Harold Camping’s infamous May 21st prediction. The only predictable outcome however was the crashing of the CDC’s servers due to excessive volume of alarmed citizens at their site. Note: I actually visited the site. It was all tongue in cheek of course.


Poem Artwork

Can a zombie go to heaven?

I’ve really got to know

I tried to check with the CDC

But it caused their site to blow

 

The rapture is a comin’

And I can’t take the chance

If a zombie was to bite me

Can I still go to the dance?

 

Or maybe they are first in line

When that light shines in our eyes

It could get really crowded

On that plane of our demise

 

I hope you get your site up soon

I hear zombies at my door

I really need some answers fast

Unlike what you’ve done before

 

Five more days and counting

Two strange mantras cross my lips

Never thought that I would ever have

A choice of Apocalypse

 

 

 

 

Copyright 2011 Patrick Granfors

 


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 Reviews of "Zombie Alert"
Reviewed by Chessly Nesci
Reviewed on June 8, 2011
I read that too and couldn't believe it. At first I thought it was a joke. I don't want my brains eaten by a zombie so I got everything I need to keep them away....Great poem Patrick! Take care, Chessly

Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on June 2, 2011
There is much historical evidence of people rising from the dead–lead poisoning, trances, comas, and the infamous spells that Haitian witch doctors put on people by partially poisoning them.

However the new crop of zombies is purely theatrical, arriving is John Bidwell described from the movies (they have to move–stiffs don't make very interesting objects–but when they move it gets exciting) that of course the youth culture find very entertaining and desirous of emulating.

For the life of the I can't understand why our youth are so interested in mindless craving for live people's blood when all they have to do is find a willing young lady when she's at the right time of the month. Then they can cut out the act altogether.

Great poem, by the way.

Ron

Reviewed by Regis Auffray
Reviewed on May 31, 2011
Good stuff, Patrick. Thank you. Love and peace,

Regis

Reviewed by Annabel Sheila
Reviewed on May 30, 2011
Giggle.....you're tooooo funny, Patrick! Good job!

Anna

Reviewed by Peter Schlosser (Reader)
Reviewed on May 29, 2011
one of my favorite sayings: where insanity rules the day, the absurd is soon to follow. please forward to the CDC. nice job patrick, good to know there are a few critical thinkers left, a dying breed for certain.

Reviewed by Richard King
Reviewed on May 29, 2011
Looks like another family reunion of THE BROTHERS ED and if I'm not mistaken cousin Pat was able to make it this year.

Nice Shtick, as always Patrick.

Thanks Dick

Reviewed by Chip Bergeron
Reviewed on May 29, 2011
I prefer Apple Crisp to Apocalypse....

Chip Bergeron

Reviewed by George Carroll
Reviewed on May 29, 2011
Certainly explains who we elect every now and then but for some reason they live on and on and on

Reviewed by Paul Berube
Reviewed on May 29, 2011
'We the people' are experiencing a serious lack of critical thinking? That's hard to believe! HA Great write, Patrick. You are sadly, so, so right.

Reviewed by Elizabeth Price
Reviewed on May 28, 2011
lol. You captured the madness of the moment. Unfortunately, our country is woefully inadequately prepared for anything. I must say though that FEMA was in Joplin on monday after the tornado Sunday. Keep on writing. Liz

Reviewed by John Bidwell
Reviewed on May 28, 2011
You are one first rate writer!
The cosmic collapse of reason mostly sends me running for cover, but you crawled out and left an amazing gem here.
Bravo!!!

John

Reviewed by Gene Williamson
Reviewed on May 28, 2011
I think the site is up again, Patrick. Just dial C for Congress.
Of course you have to bone up on your governmentese if you want
to undertstand the answers. In any even, this was great fun.
-gene.

Reviewed by Mark Lichterman
Reviewed on May 28, 2011
"Zombies". If it wasn't for vampires and zombies, there would be no new movies at all. So don't knock zombies.
Mark

Reviewed by Andy Turner
Reviewed on May 28, 2011
Never a more apt word than that which is said in jest!
It's right on the money, with all the modern day madness.

Reviewed on May 28, 2011
The site is up again, they're sending out a zillion prayer shawls for you to knaw on, and some headbanging videos and fake concrete blocks, it rocks man, it rocks, you guys knows what you're doing!!!God Bless! Jasmin Horst

Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader)
Reviewed on May 28, 2011
Great poem you hacked out here, Patrick. Plenty believable too. We have so dumb-down America that anything and everything goes. Besides the poem was cutesy.

Reviewed by Kate Burnside
Reviewed on May 28, 2011
Nail on the head, Patrick... We can pick and choose our own Apocalypse Now: all part of the self-serve world we choose either to gather to ourselves or promote. Right now in Germany it's death by cucumbers... Seriously. xx

Reviewed by Ed Matlack
Reviewed on May 28, 2011
Isn't that you on the left, I just love your choice of the zombie zoot suit...Jerseeeeeeeeeeeeey


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