The purpose of hospital gowns is definitely not 'modesty' so it must be to 'humor' the staff :) ... especially Dr. Seamour Barebottoms :)!
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Seamour Barebottoms, at I.C.U.,
invented gowns with an ‘airy’ view.
(No butts those ‘cheeks’ play ‘peek-a-boo’… do.)
You think they care what others view, stare?
Why don’t they allow us underwear?

Seamour Barebottoms cracks ev’ryone
(a comedienne, son-of-a-gun)
there’s extreme exposure … when one runs.
You can’t ‘cover-up’ wearing two gowns …
and there’s nothing to mask ‘gassy’ sounds.

Seamour Barebottoms made four sizes …
short, shorter, don’t bend, wear disguises.
Squatting isn’t always the wisest.
Gowns, supposedly for modesty,
make us the butt of joviality.

Seamour Barebottoms, a nudist fan,
designed to show as much as he can.
Do I have ‘seconds’ on a gown ban?
Why can’t we wear a tunic or slip …
something longer, beyond the butt, hip?

Seamour Barebottoms, I.C.U. crew,
is something else apt to humor you?

No one will consent to a full view!

No, we will not turn our gowns around--
Seamour Barebottoms’ straight-jacket bound!

”I.C.U.!”