Shirley Smart Britches are somewhere down the road :)!
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Smarty Britches

Smarty britches, smarty britches
pants are chaffing, Shirley itches.
Pants are too tight on the misses.
Bending—clever—to find clover. It’s all over.
Back seams rip
and cheeks pop-over.
Left one’s Blue, “Boo-hoo!”
The right one’s Drover!

Smarty blue jeans, smarty blue jeans
what’s your sport? Are you full of beans?
You’re only thin in wishes, dreams.
Hands-clasped hiney (not so tiny) seeking cover
for each other.
Fish line? Funny!
This pair’s over
ripped on clover.

Smarty khaki, Smarty khaki
give a little, please stretch honey.
Both cheeks bulging isn’t funny
Bending—clever—to find clover. It’s all over.
Back seams rip
and cheeks pop-over--
Blue stinks (of gas);
Drover’s just an a_s!

Smarty britches, Smarty britches
you are too new, fabric twitches.
“STRETCH!” I’m blushing rosy misfits.
“Is my brain vast?” Turned jelly … fast! “Did hiney BLAST?”

“No! Why’d you ask?”

“You want the facts?”

“Exposed at last! Brainy arse my a_s!”