If a woman's small, she enlarges; large ... hhhmmmm ... well sometimes they just get LARGER :)!
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Can't Get 'Em Up
Used to catch 'em in the sweeper ...
(stretched them out) thought this is neater
now I can't get 'em up at all.
The milkman offered me a 'stall' ...
I nearly bounced off the hall wall.
"They pay you by the gallon ma'am.
You'd make a million with those 'gams'!"
Rest 'em upon the dining table,
balance my plate when I'm able
but hot dishes make me quiver.
Ice cream makes 'em freeze and shiver.
It's hard for me to manuver.
They've learned to grasp and steer the car.
One thinks she's going to be a star.
Of course, they dream of my support.
"Bras don't come that big. Be a sport!"
My children seldom come around
especially when I go to town.
They want me to 'perk' up ... be bound.
It isn't easy being 'big.'
Can't see my feet or dance a jig.
My hubby says he's proud of me
but still he asks, "You've two or three?"
It's hard to buy things 'off the rack.'
"You haven't breasts, you've got a pack!"
Those saleswomen lack taste and tack!
I'm looking for a place to hang.
George suffociated with a BANG!
Splendid humor in this write. All is well in the world when we can laugh at ourselves. Double D's will have you on your knees looking for a back support.LOL
Lol!!!! Aaaw Gawd, my sides are killing me!!! Lol! Poor George, that's the hubby right? After living with them for all those years, he never learnt to manouver them? Lol!
Deputy Dave Jenkins sets out to find the murderer of the local high school principal, aided by a voice from the grave that is sometimes helpful and sometimes misleading.
"Murder isn't usually this funny."
Amazon reviewer
The Wholly Book of Genesis is a humorous satire on the first book of the Old Testament where the Story of Creation, the building of Noah's Ark, Sodom and Gomorrah and the families of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob are thoroughly spoofed and broadsided.
God bless,
Sandie.
Reindeer