A very important paper to dangle about in public!

More a bully than a 'Billie',
she loved swinging her ding-a-lings.
Her wagon didn't drag, it flagged
the opposite sex. Made hearts ping.
'Twas dandy till she went to pot
and returned--the paper cover caught
'twas flapping o'er skin-tight jeans.
Billie climbed on the trampoline . . .
swish, swash, swish, swash . . .
paper dancing, flouncing, prancing.

Up and down, the paper made noise
truly whistling through the seat hole.
Folks were shoutin'. "Jump, Billie, jump!"
Friends tried to tell her; she said, "Go!"
She assumed guys whistled, did flips.
The more she jumped, they laughed in fits.
They turned the boom box up real loud attracting a larger crowd . . .
flip, flap, flip, flap . . .
paper fluttering in the breeze.

She who held her nose in the air
relished attention everywhere.
They weren't entranced of her body
but the hangin's from her last 'chair'.
Billie finally earned our pity
but she didn't care; fluffed her hair.
Shot entering her Dad's limousine,
her picture graced hot 'magazines' . . .
swish, swash, swish, swash . . .
paper dancing, flouncing, prancing.

Was her 'face' on the front page? No!
It was her arse in the paper--
the toilet cover flapping so.
The photograph--what a keeper!
You'd think the dang thang would've torn
but, as accessory, was worn.
After wiping, watch how you dress . . .
don't 'wear' your paper . . . e'en in jest--
flip, flap, flip, flap--
paper fluttering 'cause she squeezed.