AuthorsDen.com   Join | Login    
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    BOOKS    SAMPLE CHAPTERS    AUDIOBOOKS    eBOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    VIDEOS    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Bob mitchley #shock stories, iMyra Darwish, iMargot Dillard, iJennifer Miller, iMichael Gorton, iChristina Neely, iLloydene Hill, iLisa DAnnolfo Levey, iTichaona Chinyelu, iRoger Vizi, i

  Home > Humor > Poetry        Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry        Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

Ed Matlack

 Follow Me  

· Contact Me
· Poetry
· Stories
· Blog
· Messages
· 6,048 Titles
· 45,923 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Aug, 2003

Ed Matlack, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.



I’d Rather French kiss a Gila Monster…
by Ed Matlack → (All Poetry by Ed Matlack)
   Rated "G" by the Author.
Share   Print  Save   Follow   Share on Facebook

Regarding kissing Ed K's big red lips, NO FREAKIN' WAY!!!


Poem Artwork

  I’d Rather French kiss a Gila Monster…

 

Oh no freakin way am I gonna kiss those great big lips,

First I would have my hair cut, yes get it all off, with the clips,

I would rather have my manly organ removed with a hammer and chisel, just chip,

All the pain and torture you can think of, anything at all, but never that trip…

 

Not even in my nightmares would the “wizard of the weird write” dream of that kiss,

I might not awaken from the fearful dream that would incur, not being remiss,

What frightening thoughts does this idea even invoke, no more to dream of bliss,

And I thought I was bad prior to reading of this,

Sinking into the ether reaches of a primal abyss, not even to save my life would I kiss,

                           

 THOSE GREAT BIG RED LIPSTICK  LIPS…

 

                © ed – 6/12/04

 

 


Want to review or comment on this poem?


Need a FREE Reader Membership?


 Reviews of "I’d Rather French kiss a Gila Monster…"
Reviewed by Susan Sparks (Reader)
Reviewed on June 12, 2004
To kiss or not to kiss, that is the question.

Reviewed by Regis Auffray
Reviewed on June 12, 2004
I think I agree with you, Ed. Love and peace. Regis

Reviewed by Katy Walsvik (Reader)
Reviewed on June 12, 2004
Excuse me, but the testosterone level is a bit thick in here, you guys! We have a lips transplant, scraped from a rear-end, an Englishman who can vouch for kissing reptiles but "splats" bugs, and one smoocher eager to have his 'manhood' removed unless he can make out with a gila monster! Jaysus... is it me, or did the merry-go-round go off its track? hehehehehehehe... pardon me, while I get in the back seat with this very handsome frog I'm dating! Ahem! Off we goooooooooooo... (grins for everyone!) katy xox.

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
Reviewed on June 12, 2004
Awwwww... I musta missed something...haveto run and read EdK...hehehehe....come on tell me what I missed.....hehehehe...those SAPPY LIPS?????

Love Tinky

Reviewed by Mr. Ed
Reviewed on June 12, 2004
"I would rather have my manly organ removed with a hammer and chisel, just chip"

Ed, my friend, this is your lucky day! Besides being the new Smoochy Man, I also have a mail order surgeon's license. My fees are quite reasonable, too!!

PS You have not lived until you've smooched a Gila Monster.
PPS Thanks, Andy, for vouching for me.

Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader)
Reviewed on June 12, 2004
But have you experianced his kiss, you never know what you're missing..


New Poetry by Ed Matlack
Popular Poetry (Humor)
  1.  If I Could Be A Super Hero
  2.  Little Folk, Cousins Make A Pit Stop
  3.  Fried Chicken
  4.  Like Ducks in Paper Trousers
  5.  An Adventurous Reinterpretation of Mid
  6.  Milkman's letter
  7.  Laughing As I Flee...
  8.  Amazing Grapes
  9.  Newfangled Things
  10.  A Salt and Batter
  11.  A Writer Named Ron
  12.  Ode to Spamophobia
  13.  Porky Pig And Daffy Duck
  14.  My First Heart Attack
  15.  The Last Second
  16.  Bawdy Stories And A Game Of Bridge
  17.  Houston Greats
  18.  Hound Dog
  19.  AThree Year Old
  20.  Burst Forth
Free Book Review Program
Select a book to read and review today!

Hawthorne: Hazed Hooked Hammered & Hijacked by Jay Dubya

Hawthorne: Hazed Hooked Hammered & Hijacked is adult humor that satirizes 12 popular Nathaniel Hawthorne stories in parody form.  
Member BookAds

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics by Jay Dubya

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics satirizes and lampoons thirteen famous short fiction works that are given new adult spins.  
Member BookAds

A Reader's Guide to Author's Jargon and Other Ravings from the Blogosp by Edward Patterson

A Collection of Daily Quotes, a glossary of author terms, a Drag Queens Advice Column and other tidbits, all wrapped up in one enjoyable volume  
Member BookAds