AuthorsDen.com   Join | Login    
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    BOOKS    SAMPLE CHAPTERS    AUDIOBOOKS    eBOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    VIDEOS    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Shirley Woods, iKalikiano Kalei, iTrennis Killian, iMichael Charles Messineo, iTeresa Walker, iMargot Dillard, iDavid Clure, iRobert Liu, iMargaret Evans, iD. Enise, i

  Home > Humor > Poetry        Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry        Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

Ed Matlack

 Follow Me  

· Contact Me
· Poetry
· Stories
· Blog
· Messages
· 6,048 Titles
· 45,923 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Aug, 2003

Ed Matlack, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.



Awwww, nuts...
by Ed Matlack → (All Poetry by Ed Matlack)
   Rated "G" by the Author.
Share   Print  Save   Follow   Share on Facebook

Trying to stay out of those doldrums...




Poem Artwork

The squirrel said it,

But I would say oh sh**,

I can’t find my nuts,

They were right there next to my butt…

 

Can ya look around,

See if they are near on the ground,

Sometimes nuts do abound,

But of course not today,

Oh goodness, my mind is not too sound…

 

Can’t say I am crazy,

Can’t say I am insane,

I only lost my little nuts,

I really am, aren't I, a klutz…J


Want to review or comment on this poem?


Need a FREE Reader Membership?


 Reviews of "Awwww, nuts..."
Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on October 9, 2011
"Feeling a bit crazy? Reach a bit deeper, and you'll feel nuts." Bob Hope

Ron

Reviewed by Patrick Granfors
Reviewed on October 5, 2011
How many times do I have to tell you not to wear ma's panty hose???? Jeeeze. Cuz p.

Reviewed by Gene Williamson
Reviewed on October 5, 2011
Ouch! Be careful where you walk, Ed. Some nuts
don't grow on trees.

Reviewed on October 5, 2011
Ed,

You ARE nuts!! Love ya.

Mary

Reviewed by Christine Tsen
Reviewed on October 5, 2011
An affectionate poem of splendid imagery!
:)

Reviewed by William Bonilla
Reviewed on October 5, 2011
A Kool Write Ed
Dig your new bio Pic......
Is that you Ed? Or is that John Wayne?
its great reading you again
Peace be with you Brother

William

Reviewed on October 4, 2011
JOISEY ...

PER PEEWEE'S ANNOUNCEMENT BELOW ... I'LL BID $10.

IF I WIN ... WILL SQUASH SAID NUTS WITH A HUGE MALL-HAMMER!

OUCH !!! MILD-MANNERED CUZ TK ...

Reviewed by Paul Berube
Reviewed on October 4, 2011
You've got waaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too much time on your hands, Ed.

Reviewed by Rose Rideout
Reviewed on October 4, 2011
Sad for a little fello to lose his nuts LOL. Funny one Ed.

Newfie Hugs, Rose

Reviewed by neerja gandhi (Reader)
Reviewed on October 4, 2011
tee heeee heeeeheeeee

Reviewed by Laura Fall
Reviewed on October 4, 2011
A humorous poem well done indeed as the imagery is great Laura

Reviewed by Annabel Sheila
Reviewed on October 4, 2011
Hahahaha! Hilarious! Thanks, Ed!

Anna

Reviewed by Mr. Ed
Reviewed on October 4, 2011
This Just In From Jackson, NJ - the young boy and his terrified dog who had spotted a strange hairy creature squatting in some bushes in the forest near his home the other day is now reporting that his dog just found two extremely hairy, smelly, shriveled up nuts. He thinks that they just might belong to the old Jersey Devil himself, and he's gonna auction them off on E-Bay!


New Poetry by Ed Matlack
Popular Poetry (Humor)
  1.  If I Could Be A Super Hero
  2.  Little Folk, Cousins Make A Pit Stop
  3.  Fried Chicken
  4.  Like Ducks in Paper Trousers
  5.  An Adventurous Reinterpretation of Mid
  6.  Milkman's letter
  7.  Laughing As I Flee...
  8.  Amazing Grapes
  9.  Newfangled Things
  10.  A Salt and Batter
  11.  A Writer Named Ron
  12.  Ode to Spamophobia
  13.  Porky Pig And Daffy Duck
  14.  My First Heart Attack
  15.  The Last Second
  16.  Bawdy Stories And A Game Of Bridge
  17.  Houston Greats
  18.  Hound Dog
  19.  AThree Year Old
  20.  Burst Forth
Free Book Review Program
Select a book to read and review today!

Homer's Ill Iliad and Odd Sea Odyssey by Jay Dubya

Homer's Ill Iliad & Odd Sea Odyssey (420 pages) is an adult satire/parody rewrite of the classic stories of the 10 year Trojan War and of the 10 year adventure of Odysseus trying to return home to his native Ithaca.  
Member BookAds

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part V by Jay Dubya

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part V Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part V is humorous adult literature featuring adult content and language. The work satirizes and spoofs thirteen classic tales from U.S. and British literature, a  
Member BookAds

Soldier's Gap by David Schwinghammer

Deputy Dave Jenkins sets out to find the murderer of the local high school principal, aided by a voice from the grave that is sometimes helpful and sometimes misleading. "Murder isn't usually this funny." Amazon reviewer  
Member BookAds