That had to be the longest trip,

For me and my full bladder,

First the steps were blocked with kids stuff,

So I went out the bathroom window down my outside ladder,

And how did I suddenly get a bathroom, it’s a closet,

My wife uses it like a tub room, lays on the floor and bathes…

Anyway, I digress, one rung broke on the ladder,

I slid all the way down the rest, okay so there were only two,

But I did slide down that blasted ladder, still,

Oh and you think a run through an obstacle course is hard,

That is just a jaunt compared to my backyard,

The kids with their toys and little Dad traps,

I think they need to have used on them a strap…

Again, I digress, to continue, after avoiding traps & tricks,

I get over to the outhouse and splash, down into a hole,

Oh those kids have gone and done it this time,

I’m gonna kill em, that’s what I will do, I…?

Wait a minute, what is THAT smell,

What the hell did they dump in here,

Oh, shit, I forgot I moved the outhouse today,

And this is the old HOLE, oh God, how could I be this dumb,

Wife then yells to me, stop playin’ in that pool,

And don’t come in before you clean off that scum,

You can sleep with the dogs the rest of this night, you bum,

Can’t do that, they won’t even have me…L