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Ed Matlack

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Need of a lifeguard in my bedroom...
by Ed Matlack → (All Poetry by Ed Matlack)
Sunday, October 18, 2015    Rated "G" by the Author.
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Exposing my self here, but what the hell, its better than wearing a long raincoat and, well you know...


Poem Artwork

Starting to think I need a keeper,
Someone to sit on me while I’m a sleeper,
I get four hours of solid sleep,
But wake up sleeping in a puddle,
Old I am getting and befuddled,
While I wait semi patiently for the Grim Reaper,
I was better off with the tube & bag,
My body is doing the old guy sag,
I know what it is, I drink too much,
Before going to bed, but usually I awaken,
When I engage my personal clutch,
I cannot get my ass up off the ground,
Yes, for the afterlife we are all bound,
But I don’t want to in my own bed drown…
© -ed- 10/18/15

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 Reviews of "Need of a lifeguard in my bedroom..."
Reviewed by George Carroll
Reviewed on October 20, 2015
Great honest poetry

Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Reviewed on October 18, 2015
As you know I've been there and done that.

All the below advice is well-meaning, but doesn't provide a solution.

My suggestion for using a Texas condom should do the trick. Have you been unable to get funding for the three dollars or so a day it was cost?

Ron

Reviewed by D. Vegas (Reader)
Reviewed on October 18, 2015
Talk with your Doc...you definitely need your sleep!

Always,
Deborah

Reviewed by Ruan Mills
Reviewed on October 18, 2015
Firstly, don't waste what time you have, simply 'waiting for the grim reaper' - Its counter productive.
Secondly. I think Tom may be right about the weakened valve. Chat to your Doc. There are pills and procedures for such predicaments. Get it sorted, it will boost your self esteem no end.
R xxx

Reviewed on October 18, 2015
I sincerely care about your situation. Just get a box of those undergarments for men and wear them while you sleep. I know an 18 year old who need to wear them nightly. Take care.

Love ya!

Jane

Reviewed on October 18, 2015
ED... I know I was more fortunate than yew & only had that freakin bag for 13 days & it was a Bitch... My guess is that the valve in yer bladder was weakened because of catheter tube being there so long. Dont know of any medical solution. Have ewe talked to Doc about it?

Other than Depends, the simple, easiest, procedure... maybe yu could Duct-Tape a rubber glove, or a big Balloon onto yer Wang? Or maybe even better ... get a large box of TROJANS ? Of course, if'n yew toss n turn at nite, they might perforate & yewd be still drowning?

Here am I 1 year later, after 2 surgeries, with only occasional "dribbles"...
just lucky I guess?

Ifn ewe were Blessed with a large Endowment... just Tie a Knot in Ole "Johnny" !

Reviewed by Jerry Bolton
Reviewed on October 18, 2015
Eh . . . I'm not there yet, thank goodness.


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