I reckon that Resolution thing didn't work so good

New Years Resolution

Dear friends I have found, that full twenty pounds, I mentioned to you in my letter,
I have since resolved, to not get that involved, and ten now sounds so much better,

Cause I failed to meet, even last years repeat , of a weight losers firm Resolution,
But this Year I have found, for the losing of pounds, I’ve got to find me a solution,

Last year I had tried, to really utilize, that theory of fast food reduction,
But it didn’t work , because this Doctor’s jerk, gave me this Sing-Song instruction,

She said, “You’re big on the bottom and small on the top,
There’s a lotta good eatin, that you’ve gotta stop”

She then sweetly said , that I should cut out my bread, and cut all my pasta in half,
But when I did , my wife blew her lid, and threatened the whole doctor’s staff,

Well I was afraid , of the difference it made , cause my wife’s sewing scissors were beat,
But then it was true , the bread I could see thru, and spaghetti was much shorter to eat,

She said “How do you feel, about regular meals, and snack foods just for the taking,”
Well now that’s so neat, because then I can eat, cookies with my breakfast bacon,

Said, “With the weight that you’ve got , don’t eat out a lot, cause that Fast Food is really untried,”
I did what she said, so my wife she then fed, me everything greasy and fried,

"Cut down on the cakes, give your wife all she makes , or you’ll be letting your belt out a little,”
Well, I guess that she might, of finally got it right, cause my wife got a much bigger middle,

When all was said, I think I was led, to believe this would cause me to lose;
But look at me now, I’ll never learn how, any good food to refuse,

Think I was mistaken, with this diet I’m takin, this New Year don’t look good to me,
My clothes they don’t fit, and now I am hit ,with the cost of a ward robe you see,

I’d have to say, with what I had to pay , this Doctor should’ve been one of the best,
But his solution, for my resolution, turned out like all of the rest,

I would surely be set, if my weight loss had met, the cost of that doctor and pills,
Then I could say, that by this day, I would be thin as my last dollar bill.